by Max Barry

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by The United Kingdom of Orange-Bourgogne. . 10 reads.

[DRAFT] Dead? Go to jail!

Dead? → Go to jail!

The Prosecution Office accuses @@RANDOMNAME@@ of treason. The only problem is that the suspect died two years ago.

Requirements: Must have a judicial system.

@@RANDOMNAMEFEMALE@@, the defence barrister, claims that her client can by no means be tried. “How can you accuse a that has ceased to exist? Should we send his body to trial? Have you any idea what smell that would bring with it?! Next case, the prosecution will probably try convicting @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ too. Clearly, the case should be dismissed!”

Effect: Suspects commit suicide in order to avoid trial.

“OBJECTION”, shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@ wearing a black gown and a wig, @@NAME@@’s chief prosecutor. We have undoubtable proof that the suspect is guilty. It just took us thirteen years to find that out! Surely, criminals must be punished for their crimes; if not, @@NAME@@ will become a paradise for the parasites of society. They must serve their sentences, even if their body has a permanent health condition like death.”

Effect: Skeletons serve prison sentences 500 years after they committed their crimes.

“Holy Violet!” A man responds. “Why do we punish criminals at all? Is it not true that only the Mighty Violet may pass down judgement on us mortals? Clearly, if the High Violet is of the opinion that a crime was made, She will intervene and strike the person with lightning.”

Effect: Criminals have a 0.00000002% chance of being punished for their behaviour.

Author: Orange-Bourgogne

The United Kingdom of Orange-Bourgogne