As you may know, I am Deerfenland. You may be thinking that you are alone, but believe me, and I swear on my word, you are NOT. Mark my word. Many of people have lost something, and many things...
For example, I lost
What I have lost doesn't compare to what you have lost. I will not try. You have lost so much, and it is starting to take a toll on your well-being. Believe me, I have been in your shoes. However, you have impacted the lives of many people in our beloved region. You have touched the lives of so many. You have been a light to people, myself included. You have shown, when life takes a toll, keep going. There are things that I wish I have done with the loved ones I have lost. I'm really sure that you feel the same way. However, always focus on the memories that you can focus on. The way that you impacted her life. The way that you have loved her. The way that she loved you more than anything.
You were her favorite person in the world. Believe me. She would take a bullet for you. Your mother would want you to pull through. She would risk everything for you. You know why? Because you are her son. Her son that she got to know, and love. She raised a good man. She raised an honest man. She raised someone that didn't take everything she gave for granite. The love that she had for you is unconditional, and do you know what? She still loves you. More than anything. She's an angel now, and she is watching over you. I must tell you. You will pull through. Now is the time that you should be around family, friends, and counsellors. You need them now more than ever.
If there is anything that you should do, you should pray. Pray that your mother is with god. Pray that your mother is alright. Pray that your mother is free from the pain that she had. You know what? Your mother is with god. Your mother is alright. Your mother is in a better place now. Your mother is now free from all pain that she had when dealing with cancer. She still, as I said, loves you. There is nothing that will change that. People are praying for you, and many things are coming for you. As stated by my pastor, "God has everything planned out. He will test you to see if you keep faith. What comes after pain, is love, praise, and a better and happier life." There was nothing you could do to stop your mother from passing. It's a part of life. She left too early, but she is in God's hands now. Now, all you can do is:
-Hang out with family and friends
-Talk to counsellors
-Keep pulling through
God has your life planned out. What comes after this pain, is blessing. You will be blessed. You just need to keep your faith, and feel safe as God's child. You are not alone, and if you need to talk, I am here. No questions, and unconditionally.