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by The RMB Goddess of Auphelia. . 93 reads.

Auphelian Online Bookstore

AUPHELIAN ONLINE BOOKSTORE
Your Number One Destination For Quality Literature


OUR TITLES


The Torture Chronicles

Book One: The Rise and Fall of Torture - 10000 in Chocolate (Dark)

This introspective look into the mind of classic torture professional, Auphelia, recounts torture through the ages from her perspective. Filled with informative anecdotes, thrilling short stories, and written with an experience unlike any other, The Rise and Fall of Torture is heralded by critics as "weird", "incomprehensible", and "so scary I nearly --- myself". This literary classic has thrilled readers for a short amount of time, but we're sure it'll keep going.

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Book Two: Machinery and Torture Throughout The Ages- 12000 in Chocolate (Dark)

The much anticipated second book of The Torture Chronicles, Machinery and Torture Throughout The Ages takes a look at a torturers best tools: the tools. From the feared and complex Slice-n'-Dice to classics like thumb screws and The Rack, this book will take you through exactly how each of these ideas came to be and finally settle the debate about which torture device you actually need in your home. Travel along from the whips of ancient pyramids to the waterboarding of the Spanish Inquisition and hop into the modern day to learn about the cutting edge advancements in torture, with testing labs placed in the unlikeliest of places. Critics agree: "please stop sending this book to us. It is creepy and terrifying and the cover image is just a sock puppet with bloody smears where its eyes should be". Be sure to order before stock runs out!

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Sally, Come Home - 7000 in Chocolate (Dark)

Meet Sally, an Alzheimer patient in a nursing home. She lives, laughs, and eats soft foods because she doesn't like using her dentures. Every day is the same, with the same, people, unless someone dies, which is often. She knows something is missing from her life. Then she meets Jane, a young volunteer at the nursing home with a heart of gold, a rare medical condition that is slowly killing her. Once they meet, nothing will ever be the same for Sally, and what begins next is a heartwarming story of freedom and adventure. After a series of drug induced comas, spatula attacks, and perhaps the most impressive gas-lighting seen in the modern age, Sally manages to steal Jane's identity and flee the police across the country to begin a murder spree that will paint a red path from their small town all the way to London. What happens next can only be described as "what was going on?", as said by the TOI. The BBC described it as "a mess" and "more violent and bloody than a Sopranos-Saw crossover. Why?".

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My Neighbour's Daughter's Doll - 7500 in Chocolate (Dark)

Steven Humphrey - scholar, artist, and romantic - has fallen completely and utterly in love. Kimmy Jameson, his neighbour's sassy, silky skinned twelve-year-old daughter has a doll. Yolanda. Steven loves Yolanda with all of his heart, barely stopping himself every time he is in the presence of his porcelain princess. Reluctantly agreeing to marry Ms. Jameson just to be close to Yolanda, Steven is forced to suffer for his one true love; but when Kimmy buys Ted, Yolanda's romantic interest, he will carry her and Kimmy off on a desperate cross-continental misadventure, all in the name of love. Hilarious, bloody, heart-breaking and full of disturbing photographs never before seen, My Neighbours Daughter's Doll is an unforgettable masterpiece of obsession, delusion, fetishism of inanimate objects, and lust. The West Pacific Courier raves "this book is absolutely terrifying. The author is obviously referring to themselves, and it makes me question the effectiveness of the legal system. Lock up your dolls. Seriously".

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The Attic - 8000 in Chocolate (Dark)

It wasn't that Theresa didn't love her children. She did, with all of her heart. But her father was a cruel and twisted man, who might withhold his fortune if he knew she had childrena fortune that would assure their happiness if she could keep the children a secret. So she and her mother hid the children away in an unused attic. Just for a little while. After all, how long could an old man with cancer live? The answer: too long. The first exciting days swelled into agonising years, filled with boredom and eventually insanity. Now the children wait in their cramped and helpless world, served a what is barely passable as sustenance by an angry, superstitious grandmother who knows everything their mother hid before she was brutally murdered in her sleep. She knows what these children are. She knows what they can do. And she knows they must be destroyed in mind and body before it is too late. The Attic, a novel about the devolution of sanity and the secrets one family can hide. No reviewers were available for comment, most having been killed by the curse our last book accidentally had on it. Our bad, sorry.

International Acclaim:

The Solar System Scope wrote:I find "?!"&^()#~`" to be a very fitting description for it. <.<

Not Auphelia wrote:Master peas! A Tour de France! Third positive exclamation! The Attic is a book!

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MORE COMING SOON!

The RMB Goddess of Auphelia

Edited:

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