by Max Barry

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by Khryov. . 142 reads.

Everything you didn't want to know about who you didn't want to meet: Kro

No cheatin' for F7, ya twits.

For your sanity, please do not delve into the factbooks and dispatches located on this account. It's not worth it. Trust me. Feel free to visit any of my other accounts like Narumasang or Bialogorsk, but leave "Khryov" alone as much as possible. The writing and degeneracy located here is of utmost horridness both in writing style, grammar and history. I'm pretty sure one of them says something about the military having a manpower of 12Mi. Men. I think I was far higher than usual when writing all of this. Thankfully most of my newer NS accounts aren't as stupid- but viewer discretion is still advised. Only reason I'm keeping this account around is for the OOC dispatch and for the prestige of still having a slightly old nation- though I had an even older one that was a rename of Khryov, and you can probably guess that it was even worse.

Gelsingfors "Kro" Krovius II Von Totalschizo
Of Hanover and Brunn, Second of their name, their royal thiccness,
Lord huge, the Biggest of bones. Slayer of Food, The Chequered
Cross, The eater of many, the indomitable maw, The Chechen

Born: Yes
From: Somewhere
Place of residence:Now, somewhere else!
Age: I'd rather I didn't
Gender: Madagaskar
Sexuality: $20 is $20
Star Sign: F$Łk'd If I know
Religion: Dude, like, whatever you want to believe, man.
Pronouns: yeah


beliefs: Libtard
Economic Left/Right: -3.68
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -4.56
(Bottom left square, more bottom than left,
kinda close to the centre. I think.)

Alternate Accounts
The oranje republic
Constantly Overburdened with Indifference.
Illegitimi non carborundum.

"lol" - Kro

"Inner city delinquent with a below average IQ. Masks intense dissatisfaction with life with a rowdy personality, despite actual introversion and anxiety about social interactions. Kinda retarded, not gonna lie. Will call you daddy if it makes you uncomfortable. Will probably try to harass you for patter. Mistakable for either gender from a distance, can't decide whether that's intentional or not. Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll, yet at the same time Hippy peace, love and getting along. LinkYippie. Migrant from somewhere in the 2nd world, though you'll never get a clear answer on where that might specifically be referring to. The EDL does not like me. Big Tiddy Thicc Thigh Goth Girl gf. Will instantly recoil if you say uwu at them. General disappointment. Libtard. Legalise. Subscribed to Pyrocynical. Punk not dead.

"So it was a day like any other, I was waiting in line to get my usual groceries at my local Tescos in Manchester (Which I go to every day because it's about 50 yards from where I work) but while I was waiting, I saw something unbelievable out of the corner of my eye. It was what looked to be Krovius with a mountain of 20 or so [corned beef sandwiches] sitting in front of him, perfectly stacked to create what looked to be a [corned beef sandwich] pyramid.
Kro was by himself and wearing an all black hoodie with some sort of face mask with a skull on it (I think I've seen this one before), he wasn't even doing anything to the [corned beef sandwiches]... She was just sitting there looking at them.. dead eyed.. he looked like she was lost in some other world.. Like he was seeing something in those [corned beef sandwiches] that I couldn't see. I approached her.. "Ehh-excuse me, I really appreciate your work man, could I get a picture with you or something??!" I said in an awkwardly excited kind of way.. He didn't move a muscle, her eyes looked like they were set in stone, they stayed set on those [corned beef sandwiches] ...Kro slowly lifted her hand.. I backed up a little, thinking I might have offended him or interrupted some kind of sacred ritual.. He slowly laid his hand on top of her [corned beef sandwich].. Gently caressing his [corned beef sandwiches] like they were her half-black children or something.. I could hear him mumbling something under his breath while he caressed them.. it sounded like she was saying "We get sh%t done at /tg/"
I asked him "Are you okay?" and suddenly her eyes broke their mould and started jetting around like he had just woken up from a coma. Kro looked up at me and then back down at her subs. Without another second passing he ripped her backpack off his back and started stuffing the [corned beef sandwiches] in her bag one by one, furiously fast like he was robbing a bank .. In mere seconds Kro had filled the entire bag with his [corned beef sandwiches] .. All of them but one.. He looked at the last [corned beef sandwich] and contemplated for a second.. He looked up at me, gave me one third of what looked to be a smirk and tossed me the [corned beef sandwich]. As soon as it hit my hands Kro stood up, firmly patted my shoulder and said "Fu$% off, cuvt." she ran for the door faster than I thought was impossible for a person his weight to run, she did kind of a half roll over a trash can and slammed the door open all in what looked to be a single blustering stride. I chased after him wanting some kind of answers to what the hell just happened.. I quickly pushed the door open but she was already gone.."

Likes: Your mum, Your dad, their money, Any music that's fast, some music that's slow, punk, goth, alt, my friends, you (probably), taking the plss, Jello Biafra, people who aren't nationalistic (patriotism okay lol), the freedom to relatively do what you want, hip middle age moms, the sound of rain as you do nothing inside, the outdoors, people with groovy vibes, people who don't want the environment to keep dying, the entire state of Oregon, other people trying their best

Dislikes: Your homophobic uncle, debt, people who abuse the "soft boii!" aesthetic whilst actually being massive sɹǝʞuɐʍ, arrogance, Rich lobbyist conglomerates that help destroy the environment for that sweet sweet dosh, people who unironically tell me to "get the f*ck out of my country!" and those who think their "blood" makes them better than others, racist old dads, the sounds of traffic, the big city, people who say certain music is "just noise", religious fanatics, anti-abortion peeps, discrimination, the entire state of New Mexico, Tankies (you may be an exception, who knows), myself and my body

Favourites, Questions and Other S\ite:
Favourite Movie: LinkUno.
Favourite Band: LinkNoMeansNo
Favourite Books: The Metro series, maybe? idk
Favourite Actor: Gene Wilder was pretty swell
Favourite Person: not me that's for sure
Favourite Country: Swedone or Nestonia.
Favourite Team: Sporting CP / St Pauli
Favourite Artist: Junji Ito/Callisto

What are your tools of the trade? Spite.
What is your biggest weakness? Oh boy where do I even Fuc%in' start
What are your Phobias? Not making over minimum wage
Where Is your dream place to live? Wisconsin or California. Seem nice. Cali's might be too hot, though. Maybe even Estonia, now that I think about it.
What instruments do you play? The Spoon.
What is your favourite cereal? Milk
What is your favourite youtuber? Mamamax

And to close things off, some quotes about me from some people I know.
"kro I swear to god" -lolxd
"KRO NO" -Starry
"kro no" -TheAmessz
"What the fu%k kro"-Oyylumo
"no kro stop it" -TheAmessz
"No." -Xwedodah
"kro I have no idea what the fvck you just said" -TheAmessz
"What's wrong with you?" -Anonymous

Things I've said, have had said to me, or overheard:
A:"i am so hurt"
B:"in real life or in fortnite?"

A:"I watch anime come back here"
B:"what kind of entitlement does that fvcking give you"
A:"is there a problem, Oni Chan?"
A:"i want you to leave"

A:"i feel like my leg's about to snap off"
B:"eat more vitamins"
A:"no i'll just drink milk"
A:"drinking milk straight from the bottle was on my bucket list"

props to Omega state and Normund for being the only people correctly guess where I'm from in the F7 nationality guess thread, Big up mad props, lads. And The ✯ꜰᴇᴅᴇʀᴀʟ ʙᴜʀᴇᴀᴜᴄʀᴀᴄʏ✯ of Yegla Islands for almost giving a bang on guess as to what I'm all about, personality and life wise. Genuinely creeped me the Fck out with how near correct that was.

Or where any of these people correct?

You'll never know.