by Max Barry

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by The Kingdom of The United Isles of Burgessland. . 49 reads.

The official fact page

The United Isles of Burgessland

The United Isles of Burgessland


Motto: "Princeps diligit noster coles"


Population: 55 million

Capital: New Basing

Largest City: Papanonce

Official Language: Andertonish

National Language: Andertonish

National animal: The Imperial Shag

- King: Thomas I of Burgessland
- Prime Minister: James Edward-Watson
-Secretary of State: Sandra Bollock
- Speaker of the House: Alex Anderson jr
- Chief Justice: Ashesh Sunhil

Establishment: 7th era

Land Area: 102,000 mile²

Highest Point: Heaven
Lowest Point: Hell
GDP per capita: £140,000

Currency: Burgessland pound

Time Zone: PCMT+3

Drives on the: Right


-The United Isles of Burgessland commonly called Burgessland, is a constitutional monarchy in the USSR. It is an island so is not connected to any other nation(s) by land. It is a small collection of islands in the north-east part of the whole region

How it is ruled:

-Burgessland is fair and prospering. Ruled by the King Thomas I of Burgessland (a direct blood relation of the founding father). Elections are held to vote for a Prime Minister but ultimately the King has ultimate control and the support of the people, who see him as fair and keeping the often corrupt and self-centred politicians in their place. Where as politicians are elected by the people, The King is from a line of kind, empathetic leaders who have proved time and time again to be competent and fair leaders.


-As soon as you get of cheap budget airline flight you get the stench of faeces from agriculture and farming that happens on a large scale. The majority of the land mass is covered by fields used for agricultural and farming, as well as the odd run for our great leader; who has somewhat of a fetish for wheat fields. The Isles are not all fields however. There are many cities sprawling with modern buildings, such as high rise flats and offices. These cities provide millions of jobs for bell-ends across the Isles. In Burgessland we consider ourselves the cultural capital of the world.


-The country we know and love was founded when a certain Edward Burgess of Basington sailing his ship full of prostitutes, booze and drugs (He was basically the Pablo Escobar of his day) across the world in search of the rarest and dankest memes to impress and seduce the well known bisexual witchcraft believer king James I in order to gain more power over Andertonland. On the journey, Sir Edward needed to relieve his body of a certain bodily fluid and as the only lavatory was occupied, he decided to dock his ship and have a slash on an island he saw. As Eddy was drenching the hot, dry sand with his piss he thought to himself: "I'm a lazy sod, I can't be bothered to sail anymore in search of the dankest memes" Edward decided to use some of the resources he brought with him on the ship and build a small village. Not long after they settled on the island, they discovered the dankest meme known to man. The story goes that Eddy found it in a cave. This didn't stay a secret for long and soon after people were flooding to the Island to admire the meme and ended up settling, thus creating The United Isles of Burgessland.


-Strong fairly centrist libertarian government that puts few restrictions on how the people live their lives
-Citizens have the right to bare arms in mostly rural areas of the country
-Low tax so you can spend most your money however you want
-Socialism is a system that has proven to not work time and time again. As a result, Burgessland has a very capitalist economy that has resulted in Burgessland having some of the best wages in the region.

Relations with other nations:

-Burgessland believes strongly in the need for Diplomacy. Burgessland keeps its diplomatic relations up with all member countries of the USSR in order to keep peace and negotiate good trade agreements that benefit Burgessland primarily.


-What little tax is put on the people is there to fund the military, which exists for the the safety of the people and to boost the bravado of the government
-The Navy is particularly invested in using this money. The fleet consists of 20 ballistic submarines, 30 regular submarines, 199 warships and 10 aircraft carriers
-The army has had a massive spending increase in recent years due to increasing tensions within the region. In the event of war, these soldiers will bundle up onto the ships (much to the delight of the sailors) ready to go on the offensive.