by Max Barry

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by The Golden Girl of Auphelia. . 297 reads.

Auphelia's Vacation Blog!

Auphelia's Vacation Blog!
Travelling Through NS . . . In Style

About The Blog

Hello all! I have recently decided to take a small break from TSP, because now that I am no longer a Local Councillor and have a fairly comfortable lead on the #1 Poster position, I think it is about time that I explore NS, which all young nations are wont to do. I never actually got to do that, because I love TSP too darn much, but now it is time, with the region safely in the hands of . . . okayish people, I guess. An ABBA hating Hoosier, an IKEA Fox Drone, and a sentimental Panda-Englishman, not one of them over the age of 25!

. . .

. . .

It's going to work out, I can feel it! Anyway, this will be a sort of documentation of my travels and interactions. Due to the idiocy of time zones, I will define "Days" as the long periods of time I am usually online, which in my timezone (the one true time zone) usually straddles the line between one day and the next.

I, of course, am obviously not going myself (The endos! The influence! NO!!!!!), but I am sending my trusty doggo Puddles the Puppy and my arch nemesis Not Auphelia to do my dirty work for me!

So . . . that's it! This is basically just my vanity project! Prepare for the best and hope for the worst . . . wait, that's not . . . eh, whatever.

Let's go!

The Best Regions In NationStates
According To Auphelia

1. the South Pacific: It is, to put it quite simply, home. With plenty of active and fun people, torture victims galore, an active and fair regional government, and the best regional culture around, TSP is an obvious choice for the coveted Best Region Award. This is Auphelia's favourite region, for obvious reasons.

2. Lazarus: Lazarus has a great feel to it, with a small group of committed and kind game players who are willing to welcome anyone new into the fold. Very TSP in nature, though posting is infrequent, which is not necessarily a bad thing, but certainly makes it a lesser region to TSP. Still, it is wonderful and I can imagine Puddles the Puppy will want to stay for quite a while, as it is his favourite region.

3. Forest: Quiet. Peaceful. Contemplative. All are words that come to mind when one thinks of Forest, NS's most tranquil region. Though a bit slow at times, the residents are very kind and willing to like any post, no matter how simple. They enjoy their silence as much as they do proper civil discourse, and that is commendable. I already had a high opinion of this region from several wild and extravagant trips funded with taxpayer money "diplomatic missions" in my time as Local Councillor, but it is even more perfect for a simple vacation. It would be number two on the list, but Puddles threatened to snuffle us to death if Lazarus wasn't number two, so here we all are. This is Not Auphelia's favourite region.

4. Hell: Ruled by the iron fist of The Stalker, this fiery pit of despair is like a home away from home to me! The screams of tortured souls are music to my ears, and their complimentary lava baths are to die for, literally! While the presence of their delegate, who was so kind as to act in one of my musicals, does increase their standing quite a bit, the relative silence of the region does not quite suit it the way it does in a region like Forest. Still, this is a worthwhile destination for anyone in the mood for some despotic fun!

5. The North Pacific: A wonderful region filled to the brim with non-stop excitement! Plenty of RP and shouting matches, though that in itself is a bit of a problem. While TNP is active and fun, the constant deluge of posts and a relative lack of order make it a bit hard to start new conversations or meet people. The ultimate Feeder Region, TNP's greatest strength is its greatest issue.

6. The East Pacific: The Land of QuEeN yUnO, where pink rules supreme. It is very similar to TNP in post speed and number of active nations, but with a bit more order and slightly more crazed. While I would normally love this, it makes it hard to vacation and learn about the region because everyone is too bus to pay attention to a nation wanting to know more. Nonetheless, this is still an excellent region and worth a visit.

7. 10000 Islands: This is where we start veering off track a bit. Don't misconstrue my words here, the following regions are fine, they just aren't places I would care to visit again. Take 10000 Islands, for example. It is fairly pleasant and when people do post it is usually very clever and fun, but it seems like posts never happen. There is some activity, but not much. It is a true shame, with such a promising World Factbook entry. As much as it seems like it could be fun, 10000 Islands seems like it is past its prime. Then again, we did have some sporadic fun with serfs, which ranks it higher than Gay.

8. The Galactic Empire: Yet another quiet UCR. You know, it makes one wonder why people bother joining these regions where no one has much to say. They rank higher than Gay, because at least I got a response, but rank below 10000 Islands because I didn't get as many responses. Really, these three regions seem not particularly different. I feel like I have had to say that and think it a lot to myself over the course of this week.

9. Gay: I can't really have an opinion on this region, because nobody ever seems to post there. Several days have gone by since the last post! It is quite incredible, and I have never seen anything like it! It might have to do with the region itself. Due to the name and the type of person it would attract, there is only so much you can say, as it will just end up being a feedback loop of everyone's beliefs, which are all similar, being echoed back. Eventually interest is bound to peter out, and that is what happened. Poor Gay.

10. the West Pacific: Something about the region felt a bit off. I am not quite sure why. Perhaps it was the seeming culture of elitism, with government officials all seemingly knowing each other and having been there for years, or the fact they have no posts, because they have so many RMB rules they are essentially strangling any semblance of conversation. Even I wouldn't go as far as they do! I don't know. I am sure it is a good fit for some. I am not one of those people.

11. Carolingia: One. Like.

Day 1: Lazarus and The North Pacific

While Puddles the Puppy becomes the pet of a rotund wizard in Lazarus, Not Auphelia learned the nature of how empires are formed from Queens port in The North Pacific!

Queens port wrote:By being too cool for those lame Queens and Kings 😎.

Then Not Auphelia learns to post like the cool kids! And ostrich ovulation turned into a thing.

TNP is weird, just like us, and Lazarus is comfy and warm, just like us! So far, this is pretty exciting and fun, though not too far out of my comfort zone!

It seems a bit hard to get in, given 90% of their talking is roleplaying, something I can't really get into, partly because of my conditioning in TSP and partly because I am visiting! I can't become a part of their world!

Still, I rate this vacation an 8/10! Would recommend to people with time on their hands, though not suitable for pregnant men or women or people who suffer from heart problems.

Other Stuff: Some sort of virus and a lack of a vaccine because of human error in TNP, a skeleton king trying to please Puddles in Lazarus, the invasion of TSP by said skeleton king, wolves, excessive snuffling, and lots of fun in the NS Forums!

Day 2: Lazarus, Forest, and The East Pacific

While Not Auphelia discusses regional drinks with other connoisseurs of TSP delicacies, Puddles the Puppy stays around in Lazarus to get belly rubs from Imkiville and lick the wounds of the Most Rotund and Magnificent Wizard of Treadwellia.

Then, taking a short trip, Not Auphelia goes through Forest and feels the hospitality!

All of these regions are very nice! Lazarus, despite having a peaceful and uneventful existence, is still very vigilant and makes sure everyone has a good time!

In TEP, I didn't catch a glimpse of QuEeN yUnO, so that was a bit sad, but I did meet some great people and ate some yummy mermaid tail!

As for Forest . . . it is quiet and a bit serious for my tastes, but they still know how to make people feel welcome! From what I can tell, it is a lot easier to get lost in a GCR than it is in UCRs . . .

I can't believe I just said that!

Either way, it has been a barrel of laughs so far!

Other Stuff: Getting lost in Forest, Escade's connections in TEP, biking not being seen as a valid form of transportation, evil woodpeckers, and the Doki Doki Literature Club!

I can safely say I will never see Japanese schoolgirls the same way again.

Day 3: Forest, Lazarus, Gay, the West Pacific, and 10000 Islands

I already feel apprehensive about this, because Gay, TWP, and 10000 Islands have post rates that (at best) go for a few minutes and then die for hours!

How can people stand it?

I've sent Puddles to try to warm the hearts of the TWP people, the Lazarites (his home region), and the Gay people, to no apparent avail! I got a few pats in Lazarus, and then absolutely nothing. Who in the world thinks they have the right to ignore the World's Cutest and Most Adorably Despotic PuppyTM?

And everywhere else, is also slow and boring! Bah! Then again, not every region can be as active as a feeder region (except TWP for some reason?), so they are partially forgiven.


Forest, though, even when it is quiet, always seems . . . peaceful.



It doesn't seem like there is a gaping hole of silence, more like everyone is taking the time to enjoy nature. This is an indication they are all insane, as everyone knows that going outside is a death sentence. Still, I like insane people! They're a lot more fun and post more often.

You know, I might have to start ranking the regions I visit! Give 'em a score . . . yeah. It'll be something to do, at least.

Day 4: Lazarus, the South Pacific

While Puddles the Puppy adds wiggling to his adorableness repertoire, the citizens of Lazarus get to work resurrecting The Solar System Scope in order to make him an undead soldier for the Great Lich King!

Also, Tubbius the Fat of Treadwellia does some questionable things with a cheeseburger. We don't talk about that anymore.

And the one thing that can possibly bring me back from my vacation for a short bit?

Supporting Tim Stark for Delegate! Woot! Go Tim! #FreeAdvertising!

Overall it is a pretty slow day, but my vacation is only half over! Tomorrow we're gearing up for the back half of the vacation of the century (well, perhaps just the decade). I have so many plans, none of which I am going to reveal to you! That's right, I can still be evil and mysterious on vacation. I'm relaxing, not dead!

Other Stuff: The Doki Doki Literature Club, the spice of life, fractured reality, Si-topia exceeding her love quota, and becoming a slave owner.

Day 5: Lazarus, Hell

"Today", or rather, yesterday, or rather . . . erm . . . this is rather confusing.

You know, this is why time zones need to be abolished! Midand, you need to start thinking harder on this. Bah!

My usual today in here was another slow day because I had things to do yesterday out there (in the mythical land of Real Life), people to see, sleep to have (Jealous much?), and it all got in the way of you people! That's right, I can have a life too. It isn't as glamorous and exciting as in here, but . . . well, I suppose nothing can live up to the rush of hitting TSSS with my Object of the Day.

But never fear! Things happened today (by which I do mean both today today and today today today? Got it? Good. On with the report! Ahem.

Not Auphelia got to see Hell (and heckle The Solar System Scope) while Puddles the Puppy had some fun with Tubbius the Rotund (and failed to enslave Tubbius the Doggo)! Also, being in Hell reminded me that I own The Stalker's NS Card!

So in a way, I'm the Delegate of Hell.

Good times.

Good times.

That also reminds me that the card game has STILL not resumed, which is actually quite accurate of life. If the government is constantly getting delayed, imagine how backed up and overworked the government of governments must be! So I suppose you could say they're right on schedule. Good work Max Barry!

Other Stuff: TSSS got a big head, Tubbius has a bigger belly, Puddles snuffles, I finally get a like on my posts in the West Pacific and Gay, some fun with serfs in 10000 Islands, and Auphelia gets mentioned in the TSP RMB.

Day 6: Lazarus, The Galactic Order, Carolingia

Yet another quiet day! If I didn't know any better I would think every single UCR was filled with dead nations! So far there has been minimal activity, and it makes one wonder how people can stand it. While constant activity is not always a positive trait, it doesn't hurt to have someone to talk to, be they a panda, a one-winged etymology shark, a rotund wizard, or even a fox.

Lazarus was more of the same, and I found out an interesting fact. Did you know that Tubbius of Treadwellia's descendants are all made up of a mixture of lard and sugar, bound together with gravy and wrapped in bacon? You do now! In a landmark discovery by Puddles the Puppy, geneticists around the world are now celebrating. Isn't that wonderful? Even on vacation Puddles is contributing.

However, Not Auphelia has been a layabout, failing to start conversations in mostly dead regions. It is a real shame. Then again, she doesn't have the work ethic, charisma, beauty, ability to eat a family sized portion of rice in three minutes, charm, glamour, fame, youth, intellect, talent, encyclopedic knowledge of several 2000's American "chick flicks", grace, athleticism, elegance, or tentacles that Auphelia has. So, as they say, sequels are never as good as the original. This was a pre-Pixar universe, of course.

Other Stuff: Nothing. (0-0)

Nothing at all.

EDIT: Well, well, well. Just before I sent this out in TSP, The Galactic Empire decided to respond, interrupting Mamma Mia! no less! Naturally, they were excited to see a puppy in their region, so they are forgiven for interrupting Christine Baranski singing Does Your Mother Know?. I do, however, retain my opinion they are far too slow moving for my tastes.

Day 7: Forest

And for my last day, I have spent a lovely day in Forest, soaking up the peace and summoning bigger fish.

It feels good to be going back to TSP!


That's it.

Other Stuff: This has been a relaxing day. The whole point of today was doing nothing. There isn't supposed to be reading this! Bah! There is nothing here! Blog over! Go! Shoo! Leave me alone! Just let me pack my things! It's over!



Bye now.

The Golden Girl of Auphelia