by Max Barry

Latest Forum Topics

Advertisement

1

DispatchBulletinNews

by The Expansionist Democracy of Crazybloxian Empire. . 149 reads.

The Crazybloxian Times | Issue #15

The Crazybloxian Times

THE EMPIRE’S LEADING NEWSPAPER | ISSUE 15

A1. Wikipedia unbanned
CRAZYBLOXIA - After the block of Wikipedia for over 3 roleplay years, people are glad to finally regain access to the encyclopedia. Wikipedia was unblocked in the Crazybloxian Empire after Wikipedia agreed to collaborate with Crazybloxian authorities to ensure unblock of Crazybloxians’ accounts which were allegedly blocked for no reason.

Investigations on why the accounts were blocked are currently underway. 68 admins have been arrested, and they will be released tomorrow.


-
A2. Study: Kids spend more time on video games
INORI DISTRICT, REDAIT - A study by the University of Video Game Behaviors have uncovered a massive rise in people affected by video game addiction. The mobile game addiction type of video game addiction was the most common type, and many parents say that average child video game playtime are now literally through the roof. Video game companies have been encouraged to limit the game time racked up by children. Addiction occurs when negative effects are no longer a deterrent, and when the brain releases millions of tiny hormones known as “dopamine” and is sent in masses to the dopamine receptors.

-
A3. 7 men arrested for unlawfully entering Crazybloxian Empire
CREDATRIA - 7 men were arrested at 2:16am for unlawfully entering Crazybloxian waters. According to police, they allegedly attempted to enter by boat. Their boat was intercepted by the Immigration Division, and were caught at 1:45am. The Immigration Division examined their documents, only to find that it was fake.

The men are awaiting sentencing, and prosecutors demanded a 52 year jail sentence for the 7 men, as rumour spread that they were spying for The Sword Of Crazybloxians. According to recent evidence, the goal of The Sword Of Crazybloxians, is to overthrow the Crazybloxian Empire government and withdraw from the treaty that was signed by the Crazybloxian Empire, in The Democratic Republic of Ijebu state.


-
A4. Kids racking up more hours of Internet use
UNIVERSITY OF INTERNET USAGE - A survey on parents conducted by the University of Internet Usage show that kids are browsing the Internet more than ever, with some parents saying that their kids spend over 12 hours on the Interney out of the average 16 hours children stay awake in a day.

Companies are being encouraged more than ever to teach children how to save their game. In the Crazybloxian Empire, there are estimated to be 4.7mln sufferers of LinkIAD (Internet Addiction Disorder. Complaints about children’s accidental exposure to pornography have increased significantly to over 27mln complaints, and is expected to skyrocket as the Crazybloxian Empire’s porn industry is growing, and it is estimated by the World Census around 78 hours of porn are released every week. Porn was banned in 2451 A.D in the League of Empires era, when complaints over their children viewing and watching pornography. The ban on pornography in the Crazybloxian Empire is still in existence, however pornographers still remain. Crackdown on pornography began in 2991. The government has said thatit hopes to fully ban and eliminate the pornography industry by 3319.


-
A5. Game competitions in Crazybloxia go online
CRAZYBLOXIA - The 389th Gamer’s Haven Competition has begun in Crazybloxia Gamer Centre, after organizers decided to start the competition early. The competition involved gun games, such ad PUBG, simulator games like Factorio, and other simulator games. 27,000 people attended the competition, with Erlanrmil Orhlsiaol being the winner, winning over 890 matches over the 8 days of the gaming competition. Around 8,000 of the 27,000 people were kids.
The Gamer’s League was founded in 2332, by a passionate gamer, with enthusiasm for video games. He did exercise and played video games in moderation

-
A6. Free food given out to the homeless
CRAZYBLOXIA, REDAIT, SAMPEAR - the groups of people have taken to the streets in Crazybloxia, Redait, and Sampear to distribute free food to the homeless. They began distributing at 11:20pm, when homeless people are most active. Organizations heavily commended their actions of giving, and were considered the kindest in Crazybloxian history.

The number of groups estimated to have been giving out food were around 382 squads. The squads were part of a charity that aimed to end world hunger. Their efforts have exterminated 680 cities across Force of hunger.


-
A7. 29 spaceship accidents this year
AMELYN-2 - 29 people have died from spaceship accidents this year, with a worker falling into deep space, who was able to survive and reach the Alona-7 system. Planetariums spotted the person floating in space, and the planetarium’s personnel reacted quickly by sending 28 rescue spaceships to save the person and take the person to safety. 17 people out of the 29 dead died from electrocution, and the others died of diseases transmitted from the animals.

-
A8. Disease eradication initiative launched
PERMAIST - A disease eradication initiative has been launched all over the Crazybloxian Empire in response to a cured disease called Mushjahsitis, and also to prevent the situation from happening again.

-
A9. Fatal mistake made in Sword BJ hazmat airdrop
CRAZYBLOXIA - In response to a statement made by the Baal G'vinashel Hagadol Malkuht G'vinaeti Jawar-Bayit1 that the Empire has airdropped the wrong suits. The government issued an apology at 3:19pm to over 700,000 people in a statement at Camplaol Statement And Announcement Hub, saying sorry for dropping the wrong suits onto Glassville.

Investigations have revealed that the wrong suits were dropped due to human error, with a worker choosing the type of suit to be made accidentally clicked “hazmat” instead of clicking the right one, “ionproof”. The mistake was estimated to have cost the Empire 7.2b sliding doors. The mistake was noticed by a manager at the factory where the suits were made, but due to the manager’s fear of communication, the Crazybloxian government did not know about it until a month later when immigrants from Sword BJ complained of unresponsive communication attempts to their families (meaning that they would not respond to their phone calls). Over 7 million immigrants protested on Crazybloxian streets and advanced across highways, streets, and avenues quickly due to little resistance. Riot police were sent in, although 18,662 casualties occured in the first day due to over 87% of the protesters handling P90 guns, racking up over 800 thousand tons of ammo, which was enough to fire one shot continuously per second, without reloading, for over 23 days.



Copyright ©️ 2018 Crazybloxian Empire IA (Informative Assembly). All rights reserved. Fair use law applies. Read more about fair use Linkhere.



Need more news: Visit The NewsStand.
Craving more The Crazybloxian Times issues? Come here:
New archives
nation=crazybloxian_empire/detail=factbook/id=1103460

New website: Linkhere

Welcome to the Crazybloxian Empire TCT archive!

DISPATCH STATS

23
DISPATCHES

14
ISSUES
9
EXCLUSIVE ISSUES

-
Here you can find a list of my old content.

All the Issues
Issue 15 - Wikipedia unbanned
Issue 14
Issue 13 - Tsunami hits Crazybloxians
Issue 12
Issue 11
Issue 10
Issue 9
Issue 8
Issue 7
Issue 6
Issue 5
Issue 4
Issue 3 - Rocket fuel booms in efficiency
Issue 2 - The Crazybloxian Empire takes action against the Zombies
Issue 1 - Crazybloxian Empire sends an Ultimatum to Renegalle
Extensive news coverage at Linkhttps://crazybloxianempireinfo.miraheze.org/wiki/The_Crazybloxian_Times_Extended_Coverage

“Exclusive Articles”

Euroslavian Citizens: Sent to Genocide!
Crazybloxians Demand Peace
Diplomatic pressure reaching “steam” levels
Crazybloxian Empire is out of the Universe
Crazybloxian Empire takes action against the zombies
Risk Universalis Monarchy Assasination Force is created
Crazybloxian Empire declares war on SCUT
Genocide Begone!
Assasination of Sir Renge Fails

INUKA!!

-
-
-


Thank you

All Readers
For reading the Articles
-
All Wild Things
Featuring our news publication in The NewsStand
-
The Creators of BBCode
For facilitating the formatting of every fine-made The Crazybloxian Times article


Our Visitors

404
Image not found

MODEDIT: FLAG COUNTER LINKS ARE PROHIBITED.
The former location, of the very last flag-counter. Hopefully flagcounters can return, after they’ve been adjusted. To follow NationStates rules.

Read factbook


Extensive news coverage at Linkhttps://crazybloxianempireinfo.miraheze.org/wiki/The_Crazybloxian_Times_Extended_Coverage

[spoiler=Copyright notices]
Wikipedia®️ is a registered trademark of the Wikimedia Foundation, a non-profit organization.

RawReport