by Max Barry

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by Elparia herald publisher. . 382 reads.

Elparia Herald Issue IV

Roleplay News

Thumbnail of the map
We live in changing and turbulent times, and so we may more accurately view this green and blue marble that we call Elparia, New Ducklands set out once again to update our region’s maps.
The Royal New Ducklands Geological and Cartographical Society (GCS) got a significant boost in funding this past month, so they were able to improve the quality of the maps and accurately sort out a few irregularities in regards to the map’s compatibility with smaller, nation-focused charts. Imperialist Trekan transport companies in particular are glad for the revisions.
“The previous world map of Treka was a mess”, laments one captain of the Trekan company Imperial Shipping, “the Lushka province was somehow landlocked, Pineland was several times larger than it should have been, …” and many other geographical gripes caused confusion on the seas surrounding the nation, impeding trade and causing a few run ins between commercial ships and Trekan naval vessels.
Disputes over the possession of various man made and natural islands were thankfully solved, particularly in the continents of Ilus and Ikaika (top right corner) and nations such as Volitopia, who have often had disputes with one of their neighbors over plots of land in the ocean.
However as of the end of March, the map is not yet finished (see thumbnail) with key nations like Fahran, Rophilus, and others absent from the map. However New Ducklands has mentioned that the final version of the political map is almost, if not entirely complete and will be out soon.
The GCS has also made note of certain geologic features within various nations, although the commision of a full geographic map of Elparia will only be considered farther down the line.
Some nations, however, are not too pleased with the changes. The cavian state’s Minister of Commerce said recently that, “We don’t use the New Duckian world map as our main reference point, given it changes every month with regards to landmasses and national borders”.
Hopefully the new map, with its high resolution (when viewing the Linkoriginal files) and individual side maps for continents can help alleviate some of these concerns and provide an accurate representation of Elparia.

The longest and bloodiest war in Elparian history has strangely not seen any shots fired this past month. Since the detonation of the Trekan HES Worcester in Chuukangan waters and subsequent Trekan declaration of war, a few days coastal bombardment by the Trekan navy has been the only real military action on either side.
Cold diplomacy and blockades have instead been the order of the day. 9 nations, including Corusconia, Fahran, and Volitopia have either declared military support for Imperialist Treka outright or have otherwise embargoed or hiked up tariffs on Chuukango’s exports.
Not to mention the rebels to the fascist regime who have seized, “6 Frigates, at least 3 higher classed ships… and an unknown amount weapon caches and ammunition from Confederate Military installations”, according to insider reports. They are currently estimated to be hundreds of loose bands of former Chuukangan soldiers roaming the southern coasts and central mountain ranges pillaging and burning government buildings and towns alike. They do not have any real organization as factional warfare between communist, democratic, and military deserter divisions of all stripes face uphill battles against the fascist regime and each other. Some theorize that a few rebels may have taken advantage of certain long-range communication beacons in Chuukango’s mountains in attempts to contact other nations, but many believe such rumors are unsubstantiated.
Kaiser Karl Volksburg exclaimed in a press conference last week that, “The tide of nations arriving to the defense of Treka’s massacred men on the Worcester and against the despicable tyranny of Chuukango will prevail!”.
The Trekans are massing for a massive and complete invasion of Chuukango, with industrial production and draft quotas being set, and football matches cancelled as hundreds of thousands of men are being trained to fight. But despite all the clouds of war gathering on the horizon, the other nations of Elparia carry on a peace of their own. Masimau, a neutral nation situated on a large island south of Chuukango, has remained at a business as usual level of military activity, with Volitopian and Chuukangan trade ships docking at the same wharfs to trade.
But with the international community and his own people stacked against him, Éric Brodeur’s regime is in dire straits with no apparent way out.

Reconstruction in PyeMcGowan
Reported By Volitopia
PyeMcGowan's rebuilt capitol building
Back in December, the nation of Pyemcgowan became fascist after mass riots and an armed insurrection toppled the old government. But after months of repression, political purges, death camps, and destruction of banned books and other media, a counter-revolution began in February from the nation’s mountainous heartland and spread from city to city by means of hit and run tactics. It managed to successfully replace the dictator Hinden Bourgen, who was killed by sniper fire from advancing Federalist troops, with the old president Benjamin Gowan.
As he finally retook his seat as elected leader of Pyemcgowan, Gowan faced the difficult task of rebuilding a nation whose farmlands had been burned and sacked and its cities turned into bloodstained shells of their former glory. Firstly the president declared martial law to prevent the very real threat of another uprising, as the next plebiscite that would be held showed. The remnants of the PyeMcGowan Fascist Party still held strong in the outskirts of the nation, and many of their population voted “no” in the referendum which asked for a reformation of the government. But a 66% majority prevailed, and the nation held its new constitutional convention in Charleston shortly afterwards.
Weeks later, and the delegates from all 70 states and territories came up with a new constitution to replace the old democratic one that had been ceremonially destroyed by the fascist regime. The new document outlined the structure of a new PyeMcGowanian Union as a loose federation of republics representing every major province.
This was a welcome sign, as people were starting to get agitated once again at the military law which they felt was only slightly better than the previous government. Elections were held, and this displeasure was reflected in the results, with almost one seventh of the voting population electing representatives of various stripes that echoed the nationalist sentiments of the fascists.
However, a two-thirds moderate majority prevailed once again and parliament was both representative of the people and wouldn’t drive the nation into its own destruction as had happened under Chuukango’s establishment of a dictatorial regime.
President Harrison Davids, top candidate of the democratic coalition government formed after the ratifying of the second constitution won the election and took the mantle of Mr. Gowan’s office to steer his people back on the road to prosperity.
The nation of Pyemcgowan has seen a long night of fascist oppression, and be it that they are no longer in Elparia (space-time continuum fractures; don’t question them), all the freedom-loving peoples of our world wish them luck in greeting the dawn of liberty once again.

Sports Leagues Halt Play
Reported By Volitopia
February was a banner month for sports leagues in Elparia, with everything from football to the other football and more, but March hasn’t seen any games from Elparian Association Club Football or Elparian American Football at all. The only region wide game in the past month was the Tommy Ball season finale on the 11th, which gave the TB Super Cup championship to Rampaging Turtleducks in a close match against the Snake Bears and RTTT.
Imperialist Treka’s American Football League stopped play after the 4th day of games on February 25th, but the teams remain practicing even as Treka has had to temporarily cease games in the light of mobilizing for war against Chuukango.
New Ducklands's Club Football went under some reorganization about two weeks ago and admitted multiple new teams to the League. The manager also noted that custom team jerseys would be available down the road. Some point after the addition of new teams the dispatches for the Club had their ownership changed to the Elparian Club Football League, a puppet of New Ducklands. You can view all the same scores and statistics here.
A new face in the game of football is arising however, as less than a week ago the President of the Fahrani Football Federation, Ihsan al-Mukhtar, announced “Fahran will … host the first of what he hopes will become an annual tournament for the four strongest sides from every domestic league in the region of Elparia, with Elmarsa FC, Tirsana SC, Rumaiz United FC, and Al Khair FC representing Fahran”
The tournament has not officially been created yet, but Elparian sports fans are eager to see how this new tournament, and the ones that came before it, will turn out.

Gameplay News

The Second Elparian Coup
Reported By Volitopia
Less than a month ago, Elparia reversed the government that had been in place since December’s Coup within a few minutes of action on the 11th of March. The former Prime Minister of Elparia, Aquias, had been granted access to the Founder Puppet a month or so before the coup as a means to balance the ownership of Elparia’s highest office. Using this power, he removed the previous coup’ers from the government and reinstated Concordaia as Prime Minister of Elparia, demoting himself to Minister of Defense.
As the announcement delivered shortly after the coup explained, “... the government in exile have been planning to return Elparia to its former self … to return Elparia to the region it’s supposed to be”, referencing the “government in exile” as all those who were removed from office in the first coup.
Following this fateful announcement, there was much celebration from some members of the original government, while most of the population, including New Ducklands, Fahran, myself, and many others felt a somewhat passive relief. It was pretty clear there were strong tensions between a select few of the population bubbling under the surface following the first coup, but granted that the rest of the region did not go down in flames we tolerated these actions on different levels.
Rophilus, however, was not pleased. And our resident flame lord Imperialist Treka wasn’t pleased with him. I will not print some the things that were said over discord, lest the mods descend upon me for inappropriate content. It’s safe to say that over discord during the weeks following the second coup, Elparia witnessed its largest flame war.
“Not this again … ”, lamented Kubumba tribe.
Once the ashes had cooled somewhat, Aquias got around to answering some of the other questions concerning the coup, namely of Lily membership. The coup announcement had rounded out that, “With allies such as Lily, and HYDRA, Elparia will be a formidable region in NationStates … ”.
Lily is an interregional R/D organization which is formed from the militaries of its members and is overseen by Lily High Command, which organizes the raids that happen under its banner, and Elparia is one of its signatories.
Some members had issues with being a part of Lily, mostly centering around issues of military commitment and regional sovereignty. However Aquias has promised that, “We [Elparians will] pretty much operate on our own, except when Lily needs us … and only if we can help them; we won’t bend over backwards”.
Weeks later, and things are more or less back to normal. The ashes of the counter-coup have faded, and hopefully we may at least try to prolong this time of peace, by a proverb that has been said over and over in a myriad of forms; “It’s not about how many times you fall, it’s about how many times you get back up”.

A Changing Elparia
Reported By Volitopia
Elparia has seen its fair share of trials and tribulations this month - but wait, there’s more. Just one day after the coup, Judiciary Holocron of Revan announced, “The new government has started doing some amazing accomplishments, and I can't wait to see what is going to happen. … I have decided to step down from the position of Judge”. This was a surprise on the part of Revan, given that he hadn’t received any guile or even been involved in the flame war following the second coup. Despite some of the discussion about his replacement seeping into the heated opinions on the coup, the cabinet was able to appoint The cavian state to complete the judicial trio.
However March 20th was the peak of post-coup tensions. Shortly after then-Foreign Affairs Minister Imperialist Treka’s unlawful expulsion of New trimania from discord, Treka’s deliverance of the saltiest flame of the time (over discord), and reported troubles with foreign ambassadors, then-Prime Minister Concordaia suspended Imperialist Treka from office for about a week. Just hours later the FA Minister resigned, “... I feel it’s best that I just leave”, he said in an announcement.
Not two days later, Elparia was hit by another loss of one of its government officials. Concordaia delivered a message (coded in Navajo) resigning from the office of Prime Minister and from NS, citing RL issues and the constant drama in Elparia. The decoded message can be viewed here (under the spoiler), and the original document can be found under the regional discord’s announcements. He has been greatly missed.
In a surprise meeting the cabinet named Minister of the Interior Volitopia as Temporary Prime Minister to serve out the rest of Concordaia’s term. One day after the Prime Minister’s resignation, Imperialist Treka resigned from NS and due to RL issues and NS drama, and expressed sorrow at any actions with which he may have harmed those in Elparia. Rophilus, Rampaging turtleducks, Holocron of Revan, Beasttamer, Too too, and many others felt remorse for what we all had done in some way in the week prior. RMB page 722 a time when we all stopped, put aside our differences, and wondered how we got to this point. Shortly after contemplation, the cabinet appointed Holocron of Revan to serve out the rest of Treka’s term and continue his work where necessary.
A second part of Concordaia’s original message was decoded sometime after, expressing a wish for Imperialist Treka to be named the next PM after his leave, but after some discussion between cabinet and Treka, he declined the offer.
A fourth and final unexpected resignation arrived in late March, with Minister of Polls and Demographics Fahran taking leave of her duties in an announcement, “I wanted to announce that I would be resigning from my position as Minister of Culture and Polls in order to give another member of our region the opportunity to take part in government in an official capacity. While I'll no longer hold office, I will continue to remain an active member of Elparia. … I will also be submitting recommendations for citizenship, graphs detailing demographic data, and fulfilling all other promises I made when I assumed this office”. The Minister had indeed fulfilled all her promises while in office and now left the position for someone new to take the reins, who was appointed after some cabinet discussion to be Rophilus.
The previous month has been the most monumental, most vile and most heartfelt time in Elparia. When we nearly broke our community through infighting, yet lived on to see its reconstruction into something greater.

The Post-Coup Trial
Reported By Volitopia
Shortly after the announcement of the coup, Imperialist Treka decided to take Rophilus to trial on charges of treason, corruption, and disturbing the peace. Rophilus and others in the region were not happy, believing this to be an overreach of the purpose of the coup. Head Judiciary Chuukango emphasized to Rophilus, “I have zero intentions of bringing you to trial. I cannot, however, stop [Treka] from attempting to do so…”, and the Minister of Defense echoed, “I have stated before I want reconciliation, not alienation”, because as he and many other members of government believed, once the first coup had been reversed the only steps that should be taken would be to reunite Elparia and prevent coups from reappearing in the future.
Despite all this, Imperialist Treka decided to continue to press charges, and Rophilus continued to point out that, “I have absolutely zero confidence that a fair trial will take place”, citing, “The majority of the government is against me”. Despite the fact that an overwhelming majority of the government, including most of the cabinet and the Prime Minister, shared the viewpoint of the Head Judiciary and Minister of Defense.
The trial finally happened on the 17th of March, with Treka as plaintiff, Rophilus as defendant, and Chuukango as Judge. Treka’s charges on the defendant were disturbing the peace, treason, and corruption, evidenced by a particular flame war in January when Roph flamed him, the actions taken during the first coup, and suppressing anti-greek jokes on the RMB that were far from warranting suppression, respectively. Rophilus responded (in order) that the case of flaming had been addressed by the mods already, that the morality of the coup was subjective based on who you asked, and he was expressing his own freedom of speech. After some discussion within the court, Rophilus admitted that he had “no idea” that only nations with NS authorities could suppress posts. The trial ended and Chuukango convened with Neo-Georgiria to discuss a verdict, which came within a few hours.
“Following consideration, Judiciaries Chuukango and Neo-Georgiria have found Rophilus guilty of Disturbing the Peace, 415PC (a), and bar him from being considered for the Judge role until the next election cycle. He will also be ejected, though not banned and can rejoin immediately thereafter (this is due to a slight flaw in the first revision of the penal code)”.
When asked on his thoughts about the trial, Neo-georgiria simply replied, “I just wish we can get the quirk ejection out of the penal code. That’s it”. And just around the time of the verdict that clause in Elparia’s Penal Code was amended.
The cavian state hoped that since “Justice is done; hopefully we can leave this Coup business behind us all”. Treka was surprised but not entirely displeased, “I think he should've been found guilty of the others … but at least he was punished”.
Rophilus told the Elparia Herald that,“Before the trial began, I had no faith in Elparia’s criminal justice system … How wrong could I have been; the trial went extremely smoothly, and everything was handled extremely fairly. I also felt the punishment given to me by the judges was well suited. Most importantly, this trial strengthened my faith that a fair trial was possible in Elparia.”


Stories, Stories, Stories
Reported By Volitopia
The candle flame of creative writing in Elparia has kept itself alive and well this past month, with contributions not only stemming from our scantily updated yet enjoyable creative writing channel on discord, but also from a slowly growing set of writers in Elparia proper. Antillica is a playwright on the RMB whose stories follow the Antillican Princess Antonia as she struggles with her family, her sense of duty to her nation, and a court and military who is becoming increasingly hostile to her father’s policies. For those interested in reading this play, The Herald has compiled a list of all the episodes we were able to find, and packaged them in the spoiler beneath, from oldest to most recent in chronological order:

In other writing news is Aquias’s creation of a poll story series, contained within a fantastical setting. Story polls are scheduled to be up once every week, so come on down and vote!

Elparia’s Political Compass
Reported By Volitopia
About two months ago, Neo-georgiria made a suggestion on the RMB for an Elparian political compass, where all who were interested took a Linkpolitical alignment quiz and submitted the results to be plotted on the political spectrum. It died down somewhat after the first month, but near the end of March several Elparians took a renewed interest in the chart, and added their positions on to the coordinate plane. The most recent results are shown below-

This fun little experiment was the first of its kind in Elparia, and while Fahran was still Minister of Polls and Demographics, she sent out an Elparian demographics survey for general curiosity and possible citizenship considerations. Lately there have been a few sporadic citizen-made fill outs for RP and such as well. Such things are not as much “creativity” per se, yet the demographics of a population is an interesting look into its culture, from which creativity takes inspiration from and grows.


All Aboard the Disappointment Train!

Rampaging turtleducks wrote:Attention, passengers, this is your conductor speaking! We will be moving shortly. Please keep a sharp watch on to your items throughout the journey. Wouldn’t want to lose that last bit of respect you’ve got left, now would you?

I’d like to give a brief reminder regarding the whereabouts of the bathrooms- they’re in the left compartment near the back of every train car. Can’t miss ‘em- not the way you missed the opportunity of your life, at least!

If you want an upgrade to first class on the disappointment train, don’t hesitate to ask! With a quick payment of just the shredded remains of your dignity, you can ride in style with all of our highly valued customers. Added benefits of an upgrade include depression and regret.

Snacks are available regardless of your riding class- purchase your fill and ward away that massive, seemingly aimless knot in your stomach.

Enjoy the trip! Next stop, nice little town called Purgatory.

Word Games
Velvo wrote:If you rearrange the letters in "United States" you end up with "I eat students." Coincidence? I think not...

Current state of affairs in Elparia:
Rampaging turtleducks wrote:Half the region: HELP EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE
Other half of the region: *drowns*
Tiny smidgen of the region: Elements don’t control me

Chuukango wrote:If all trimps are tromps and all tromps are trumps, then all trimps are definitely not trumps, true or false?

New Ducklands wrote:Also, this happened. Nr3 logic amirite
NR3 to Coru: You have a brain diameter of 5 ft seven
Coru: Thanks?
NR3: I mean 5 inch seven
Coru: what
USUC has made a science advancement, they have found that the brain is indeed a circle and there is an imperial measurement below inch.

Elparia herald publisher