World Assembly Resolutions
Since the rise of the World Assembly from the ashes of its predecessor, the Bureaucracy That Cannot Be Named, WA member nations have worked tirelessly to improve the standard of the world. That, or tried to force other nations to be more like them. But that's just semantics.
Below is every World Assembly resolution ever passed.
View: All | Historical | General Assembly | Security Council
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General Assembly Resolution # 360
Cyber Security Convention
A resolution to improve world security by boosting police and military budgets.
The World Assembly,
Realizing that cyber terrorism presents a legitimate threat to the international community;
Recognizing the serious damage that can be brought upon national and international organizations by rogue groups dedicated to causing mayhem on the cyber level;
Firmly believing that all member nations need to protect themselves from the perils of the of cyber terrorism, and those that don't risk damage not only to themselves, but to their international trading partners and allies as well;
Thus resolving to enact a sensible policy that allows for the safe usage of cyber technology, whist also ensuring the security of the information contained within that technology;
The General Assembly hereby:
For the purposes of this convention defines:
Cyber technology as computers, software systems, applications or services, electronic communications systems, networks, or services, and the information contained therein,
Cyber security as measures taken to protect a computer or computer system or a network against unauthorized access or attack,
Cyber warfare as actions by a nation to penetrate the computers or networks of another nation for the purposes of causing damage or disruption to combatant targets and their supporting infrastructure,
Cyber terrorism as a premeditated, politically motivated attack against information, computer systems, or devices of non-combatant targets by sub-national groups or clandestine agents for the purposes of spreading fear and terror;
Requires member nations to outlaw the practice of cyber terrorism, and to actively pursue and prosecute individuals or groups actively engaging in or promoting cyber terrorism by any means necessary;
Prohibits member nations from engaging in cyber warfare against non-combatant targets or organizations not directly linked to the military or national security of fellow member nations;
Further requires member nations to enact cyber security policies and programs designed to combat the spread of cyber terrorism and other illegal cyber related activities;
Mandates member nations require organizations and individuals to harden and secure cyber devices and networks against unauthorized intrusion or attack;
Creates the Bureau for International Cyber Security (BICS) and hereby tasks it with the following mandate:
To develop and maintain a library of individuals and organizations actively engaged in or promoting cyber terrorism, and to share this information with member nations,
To provide assistance in the location of known and wanted individuals and organizations actively engaged or promoting cyber terrorism,
To assist member nations in establishing effective programs meant to defend against damaging and potentially crippling cyber attacks which threaten the national security and economic base of member nations.
Passed: | |
For: | 14,100 | 74.8% |
Against: | 4,749 | 25.2% |
Security Council Resolution # 192
Condemn DEN
A resolution to express shock and dismay at a nation or region.
RECOGNIZING the horrific actions taken by DEN to destroying small regions;
DISTURBED about the raiding tactics used to wipe out any region;
SHOCKED at DEN's ability to form alliances with other regions, including, but not limited to, The Black Hawks, and their ability to detect those who side with DEN and those who oppose their horrific raiding tactics;
FEELING SORROW for DEN's random targets whom do not expect their small, friendly region to be attacked by evil dictators;
BEWILDERED about DEN's choice of targets, as they aren't specific; which makes DEN's act of raiding a sport;
TERRIFIED at DEN's ability to conquer large regions as well, including, but not limited to:
-
Their latest raid, Portugal;
The West Pacific;
and Anarchy;
NOTING DEN will continue to bring despair to many regions, as well as the nations inhabited in them;
Hereby condemns DEN
Passed: | |
For: | 12,505 | 70.3% |
Against: | 5,290 | 29.7% |
General Assembly Resolution # 361
Repeal: “Nuclear Material Safeguards”
A resolution to repeal previously passed legislation.
General Assembly Resolution #351 “Nuclear Material Safeguards” (Category: International Security; Strength: Mild) shall be struck out and rendered null and void.
The General Assembly:
AFFIRMING that the security of nuclear weaponry and materials is necessary to prevent their acquisition and use by terrorist organizations;
REGRETTING that GAR#351, "Nuclear Material Safeguards", is flawed in its attempt to accomplish this goal;
ALARMED that clause 4 enables poorer nations, tinpot dictators and outlaw states who nevertheless have obtained nuclear technology by ill-gotten means to receive funding and technological assistance from the World Assembly as a reward for doing so;
CONCERNED that the phrase "the wrong hands" as referenced in clauses 3 and 4 is undefined and that "the wrong hands" is a fatally flawed concept since, in a conflict between two nations or groups of nations, each side would subjectively consider the other "the wrong hands";
DISTRESSED that clause 2, which allows for such technology to be bought and sold, in fact does not serve to secure intellectual property associated with nuclear weapons and reactors, and instead promotes the dissemination of intellectual property, thereby increasing, not reducing, the chances of such knowledge getting into "the wrong hands", which contravenes the aims of the resolution;
AGHAST that the net effect of GAR#351 would result in the eventual dissemination of nuclear secrets to non-WA nations, which outnumber member nations by about six to one;
HOPING that this well-intentioned but indefensible resolution will be replaced by one that genuinely serves to secure nuclear technology and materials;
HEREBY repeals GAR#351, "Nuclear Material Safeguards".
Passed: |
For: | 15,559 | 86.1% |
Against: | 2,520 | 13.9% |
Security Council Resolution # 193
Commend Separatist Peoples
A resolution to recognize outstanding contribution by a nation or region.
The Security Council,
Recognizing the General Assembly's often self-deluded agenda of furthering international peace and prosperity, and failing goal of furthering international diplomacy;
Dedicated in its Violet-given right to see the worthiest of nations that have dedicated so much, yet asked for so little in return, forever enshrined in the permanent records of this esteemed council;
Convinced beyond any shadow of doubt that Separatist Peoples has made an explosive impact on the international community, via groundbreaking legislative efforts that not only have saved more lives than could possibly be calculated, but also have quite effectively legislated on the subject of international armed conflict to the point where any sane, reasonable nation can now wage all wars, from full scale conflagrations to teensy brushfire counterinsurgencies, and be sure that not one innocent life will be harmed;
Thus disclosing a small sample of the Separatists numerous legislative efforts, which have been deeply buried under the quagmire of unimaginable corruption and deceit known to many delegations as "the Festering Snakepit":
Rules of Surrender, which guarantees belligerents who have been defeated in armed conflict the right to surrender and not have their people shot on the spot by the victorious nation as a show of ultimate superiority;
Protected Status in Wartime, which not only enshrines that nations cannot dress up soldiers as medical personnel whilst subtly giving them weapons to rain mayhem on unsuspecting enemies gawking at wounded soldiers they just turned into Swiss cheese, but forever guarantees that soldiers whilst engaging in armed conflict shall be forced to wear the actual uniform of their armed forces, no matter how tacky or uncomfortable it may be;
Explosive Remnants of War, which codifies the ceaseless swarms of gnomes springing forth from the ever-expanding labyrinth of WA bureaucracies and sacrificing themselves by traversing minefields left by warring parties to ensure that nations are doing all they can to clean up the landmines they dropped all over the place, thus ensuring nations of the World Assembly they themselves will never be overrun with an overabundance of gnomes, as the Secretariat has yet to figure out how to plug up the spawning pool which keeps pumping them out.
Praising the antics of the one and only Ambassador Benjamin Bell, a wise man who can hear profit in the wind, a man consecrated as the Patron Saint of Bad Decisions by the clientele at the World Assembly Strangers Bar, earning the affection and respect of stripper commandos, sword-wielding maniacs, and lunatics that frequent the joint with bombs strapped to their chests and threaten to blow up the Security Council;
Further entertained by the efforts of Ambassador Bell, with the assistance of talking cars, milquetoast ferrets, violent pacifists, ogre bounty hunters, potted plants, and a very peculiar trash-eating, underwear-sniffing goat, in uncovering and neutralizing an international weapons smuggling operation, culminating in the capture of the perpetrators at the World Assembly Headquarters;
Thus believing without Ambassador Bell, forever immortalized by a stained glass window added during renovations after the infamous methanol incident, many lives would be lost and many drinks in the Strangers Bar would be left undrunk;
Hereby commends the great nation of Separatist Peoples.
Passed: |
For: | 12,608 | 83.0% |
Against: | 2,591 | 17.0% |
General Assembly Resolution # 362
Repeal: “Sexual Health and Education Act”
A resolution to repeal previously passed legislation.
General Assembly Resolution #359 “Sexual Health and Education Act” (Category: Education and Creativity; Area of Effect: Educational) shall be struck out and rendered null and void.
The World Assembly,
Recognizing the aim of Resolution #359 to attempt to give students a sexual education;
Yet concerned about the many flaws of Resolution #359, including that it:
I. Ignores that this World Assembly is made up of a variety of species, including ones that do not have puberty, ones that do not have any form of sex or gender, and ones that would have no use learning "human anatomy" instead of their own species' anatomy;
II. Arbitrarily sets age brackets for various topics of sexual education to be taught, without reference to the fact that even human children enter puberty at a wide range of ages;
III. Allows students to be exempt from the entire course and have to take a "standard health course" instead, but fails to mention any difference between the two courses, or even what in vague terms a standard health course would cover;
IV. Permits only parents to exempt students from the sexual curriculum, ignoring the plethora of children in our member states who have a guardian instead of a parent;
V. Exempts private schools entirely, allowing nations which do not make use of public schooling to fail to educate students on sexual health at all;
Declaring that these numerous flaws yield to a superfluous, vague, disagreeable, and narrow resolution;
Hereby repeals "General Assembly Resolution #359, Sexual Health and Education Act"
Passed: |
For: | 11,801 | 73.5% |
Against: | 4,260 | 26.5% |