The Federal Republic of North Keyton is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by President Eastport with a fair hand, and renowned for its keen interest in outer space, unlimited-speed roads, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic population of 4.004 billion North Keytonians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Greyport. The average income tax rate is 66.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient North Keytonian economy, worth 388 trillion Celestias a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 96,977 Celestias, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

The aims of top-secret North Keytonian science projects revolve around designing the perfect robot woman, citizens cannot change their light bulbs without approval from an international committee, the government recently donated a surfboard to an impoverished family in a landlocked region, and Greyport spends billions upgrading public transport. Crime is totally unknown. North Keyton's national animal is the Blue Jay, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

North Keyton is ranked 59,309^th in the world and 5^th in The Potato Union for Lowest Crime Rates, with 71.93 law-abiding acts per hour.