The The dective of Newer Czechoslovakia is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by benny the second with an even hand, and renowned for its triple-decker prams, restrictive gun laws, and suspicion of poets. The compassionate, democratic population of 2.761 billion Newer Czechoslovakians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Newer Prague. The average income tax rate is 43.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The strong Newer Czechoslovakian economy, worth 153 trillion cheks a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Cheese Exports, Furniture Restoration, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 55,455 cheks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

All footpaths have tollbooths, a determined opposition debates the relative benefits of Arial and Times New Roman for days on end, the right to a fair trial was recently abolished for reasons of convenience, and hipster cyclists declare that "metal is dead". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Newer Czechoslovakia's national animal is the loin, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is lion.

Newer Czechoslovakia is ranked 83,011^th in the world and 1^st in Tree landia for Lowest Crime Rates, with 70.59 law-abiding acts per hour.