The Dictatorship of Zipties is a huge, safe nation, ruled by Zen with an even hand, and renowned for its complete lack of prisons, ubiquitous missile silos, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate population of 946 million Zippies have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sloth Town. The average income tax rate is 67.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Zippy economy, worth 88.4 trillion dollars a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Basket Weaving, and Automobile Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 93,461 dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.4 times as much as the poorest.

Businessmen walk out of meetings halfway because their shift is over, the government funds large training centres to turn seals into functioning members of society, bureaucrats close new businesses for not complying with the Penguin Packaging Index, and Max Barry is this year's Miss Zipties. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Zipties's national animal is the seal, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Zipties is ranked 172,332^nd in the world and 7,052^nd in The North Pacific for Most Politically Free, scoring 40.38 on the Diebold Election Inking Scale.