by Max Barry

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Most Secular: 1,148thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1,988thLowest Crime Rates: 2,301st
The Soviet Socialist Republic of
Psychotic Dictatorship
All are equal, but some are more equal than others.
CPSU
Influence
Duckspeaker
Civil Rights
Outlawed
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Zetona

Population4.463 billion

CapitalXYZ*
LeaderCPSU
FaithLight future

CurrencyWooden ruble
AnimalBear

The Soviet Socialist Republic of Zetona is a massive, safe nation, ruled by CPSU with an iron fist, and renowned for its triple-decker prams, flagrant waste-dumping, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 4.463 billion Zetonas are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of XYZ*. The average income tax rate is 97.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Zetonas economy, worth 686 trillion Wooden rubles a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 153,852 Wooden rubles, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government has officially clarified that "wee on your hands to save time" does not count as proper hygiene, healthcare workers are flummoxed over the spike in foreign tourists with sudden-onset heart disease, war vets look after war animals, and laser-wielding robots are taking aim at human hearts. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Zetona's national animal is the Bear, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Light future.

Zetona is ranked 199,008th in the world and 70th in Soviet Democracy for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector, scoring -12.08 on the Henry Ford Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Most Secular: 1,148thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1,988thTop
5%
Lowest Crime Rates: 2,301stHighest Average Tax Rates: 2,536thLargest Welfare Programs: 2,839thMost Advanced Public Education: 2,844thLongest Average Lifespans: 2,905thMost Developed: 3,621stMost Advanced Public Transport: 3,737thLargest Governments: 3,741stHighest Poor Incomes: 3,807thHealthiest Citizens: 3,825thMost Authoritarian: 4,828thMost Influential: 4,903rdMost Subsidized Industry: 5,063rdMost Advanced Defense Forces: 5,916thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 6,506thSmartest Citizens: 7,698thMost Conservative: 7,876thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 8,223rdMost Valuable International Artwork: 8,301stMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 9,556thLargest Information Technology Sector: 9,571stMost Corrupt Governments: 9,815thBest Weather: 9,897thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 10,101stMost World Assembly Endorsements: 10,112thMost Scientifically Advanced: 10,162ndTop
10%
Most Efficient Economies: 11,008thMost Income Equality: 12,052ndHighest Average Incomes: 12,621stMost Extreme: 15,500thMost Beautiful Environments: 15,587thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 17,667th
Top
5%
Highest Average Tax Rates: 1st in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 1st in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 2nd in the regionMost Authoritarian: 2nd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 2nd in the regionMost Conservative: 2nd in the regionMost Secular: 3rd in the regionMost Extreme: 3rd in the regionTop
10%
Most Developed: 4th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 4th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 4th in the regionLargest Governments: 4th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 5th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 5th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 5th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 5th in the regionMost Income Equality: 6th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 6th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 7th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 7th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Zetona was endorsed by The Soviet Socialist Republic of Free Krym.
  • : Zetona was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most World Assembly Endorsements.
  • : Following new legislation in Zetona, laser-wielding robots are taking aim at human hearts.
  • : Following new legislation in Zetona, war vets look after war animals.
  • : Zetona was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Efficient Economies.
  • : Following new legislation in Zetona, healthcare workers are flummoxed over the spike in foreign tourists with sudden-onset heart disease.
  • : Following new legislation in Zetona, the government has officially clarified that "wee on your hands to save time" does not count as proper hygiene.
  • : Following new legislation in Zetona, the nation's prisons are touted as the best weight loss programs money can't buy.
  • : Following new legislation in Zetona, Bambi has been banned.
  • : Following new legislation in Zetona, people say chess victor CPSU can kill you with mind-bullets.

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