by Max Barry

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Most World Assembly Endorsements: 3,949thMost Influential: 6,254thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 6,781st
The United Socialist States of
Father Knows Best State
Summi patris vivat!
Influence
Shoeshiner
Civil Rights
Below Average
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Ze Noobalingas

Population1.059 billion

CapitalZe Naobilini
LeaderZe Nonazani
FaithNaoanazisan

CurrencyNeebioni
AnimalFennec Fox

The United Socialist States of Ze Noobalingas is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Ze Nonazani with an iron fist, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, parental licensing program, and absence of drug laws. The cynical, humorless population of 1.059 billion Noobalians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ze Naobilini. The average income tax rate is 67.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Noobalingasian economy, worth 115 trillion Neebionis a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, broadly diversified black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Automobile Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 108,885 Neebionis, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The military has gone fission for more funding, Ze Nonazani can't hear a thing when the unwashed masses throw rocks at the new state limousine, East Lebatuckese astronauts' favorite game during downtime on the Multinational Space Station is 'I Spy', and the nation's diplomats are all talk and no action. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ze Noobalingas's national animal is the Fennec Fox, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Naoanazisan.

Ze Noobalingas is ranked 26,378th in the world and 793rd in The East Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 77 Law-abiding Acts Per Hour.

Top
5%
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 3,949thMost Influential: 6,254thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 6,781stLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 7,198thTop
10%
Largest Publishing Industry: 13,473rdHealthiest Citizens: 15,372ndHighest Poor Incomes: 16,357thLongest Average Lifespans: 16,914thMost Scientifically Advanced: 18,571stLargest Manufacturing Sector: 19,105thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 19,691stMost Developed: 20,142ndLargest Information Technology Sector: 20,328thMost Corrupt Governments: 20,656thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 21,961stLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 22,438thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 22,538thMost Cultured: 23,608thLargest Black Market: 23,676th
Top
5%
Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 148th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 220th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 337th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 357th in the regionTop
10%
Healthiest Citizens: 463rd in the regionMost Influential: 475th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 514th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 520th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 522nd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 527th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 539th in the regionMost Developed: 601st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 603rd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 611th in the regionLargest Black Market: 615th in the regionMost Cultured: 652nd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 669th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 674th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 754th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 785th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 793rd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Ze Noobalingas, the nation's diplomats are all talk and no action.
  • : Ze Noobalingas was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Black Market.
  • : Following new legislation in Ze Noobalingas, East Lebatuckese astronauts' favorite game during downtime on the Multinational Space Station is 'I Spy'.
  • : Following new legislation in Ze Noobalingas, Ze Nonazani can't hear a thing when the unwashed masses throw rocks at the new state limousine.
  • : Following new legislation in Ze Noobalingas, the military has gone fission for more funding.
  • : Following new legislation in Ze Noobalingas, high-income earners pay a 100% tax rate.
  • : Ze Noobalingas was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Cultured.
  • : Following new legislation in Ze Noobalingas, public parks are littered with cigarette butts.
  • : Following new legislation in Ze Noobalingas, squeaky high prepubescent voices recite the patriotic poem "Hail to The Leader!" before each meal.
  • : Following new legislation in Ze Noobalingas, consumption of cat memes has skyrocketed.

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