The Total Noob of Zazumo is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by The Doctor with a fair hand, and remarkable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, daily referendums, and unlimited-speed roads. The compassionate, democratic population of 14.9 billion Time Lord are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Gallifrey. The average income tax rate is 81.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Time Lord economy, worth a remarkable 2,430 trillion Dollars a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Automobile Manufacturing, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 163,115 Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Judicial robes are the country's hottest fashion trend, the nation has opened its arms to an influx of refugees, the voyages of obsolete star-trekking satellites on deliberate escape orbits are only just beginning, and eminent domain has been abolished. Crime is totally unknown. Zazumo's national animal is the Doggo, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Zazumo is ranked 31,321^st in the world and 1,108^th in The North Pacific for Most Patriotic, with 27.18 flags saluted per person per day.