The Novian Democratic Republic of Zarnicovia nova is a massive, safe nation, ruled by President John Huey Long with an even hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, ubiquitous missile silos, and otherworldly petting zoo. The compassionate population of 4.734 billion Zarnicovia novaians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Zarnicoa. The average income tax rate is 93.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Zarnicovia novan economy, worth 651 trillion zarnicovs a year, is highly specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 137,615 zarnicovs, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Only persecuted professionals need apply, surveillance cameras are banned, it is mandatory to learn evolution in schools, and baby boys who pick up pink crayons are sent to a psychiatric ward. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Zarnicovia nova's national animal is the eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is zarnicovianism christian.

Zarnicovia nova is ranked 30,210^th in the world and 2^nd in novia for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 4,299.75 on the Gilded Widget Scale.