The United Socialist States of Zaratov is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Supreme Kommissar Sovyétskaga-Soyuza with an iron fist, and renowned for its public floggings, keen interest in outer space, and smutty television. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 7.809 billion Zaratovians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Education, Law & Order, and Environment are also considered important, while Spirituality and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Derzhost. The average income tax rate is 98.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Zaratovian economy, worth a remarkable 3,182 trillion Rubles a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Trout Farming. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 407,598 Rubles, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Zaratovian watches are often the only thing to survive a disaster intact, Renaissance frescos are being chiselled off public walls, the nation is committed to nuclear rearmament, and the armed forces are locked in an expensive and bloody war abroad to stamp out possible terrorists. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Zaratov's national animal is the Great Gray Owl, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is State Atheism.

Zaratov is ranked 4,385^th in the world and 14^th in The Leftist Assembly for Highest Economic Output, with 3,182 trillion Standard Monetary Units.