The Prinzessin der Ozelote of Xoriet is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Kath Zandion Beralis with an iron fist, and remarkable for its smutty television, otherworldly petting zoo, and national health service. The compassionate, cynical, cheerful, devout population of 22.973 billion Xoriens are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, corrupt, socially-minded government prioritizes Education, although Industry, Healthcare, and Administration are also considered important, while Defense isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Androssi. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Xorien economy, worth a remarkable 7,849 trillion Saruns a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Information Technology, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 341,672 Saruns, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Body doubles and armed bodyguards escort witnesses to and from courtrooms, companies struggle to cover for the hordes of employees on parental leave, Loud Patriotic Music Day has been ranked the seventh best new holiday of the year, and contestants on Xoriet's Got Talent are screened by the government to make sure that they actually have talent. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Xoriet's national animal is the Golden Ocelot, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Fate's Mandate.

Xoriet is ranked 157^th in the world and 6^th in the Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 256.33 law-abiding acts per hour.