The Princess of Valentines of Xoriet is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Kath Zandion Beralis with an even hand, and remarkable for its anti-smoking policies, otherworldly petting zoo, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, cheerful, devout population of 18.447 billion Xoriens are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, corrupt, socially-minded government prioritizes Education, although Industry, Healthcare, and Welfare are also considered important, while Defense and Spirituality receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Androssi. The average income tax rate is 99.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Xorien economy, worth a remarkable 5,348 trillion Saruns a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Information Technology, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 289,942 Saruns, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Pedal-powered removal vans are a popular Maxxmas gift for the children of separated parents, holidaymakers sleep curled up on the floor as hotel beds are replaced with oversized bookcases, Big Agriculture has the government by the nuts, and the government pours millions of Saruns into rehabilitation programs annually. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Xoriet's national animal is the Golden Ocelot, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Fate's Mandate.

Xoriet is ranked 240,440^th in the world and 6,435^th in the Pacific for Highest Disposable Incomes, with 579.89 Standard Monetary Units.