The Ultimate Evil Badass Nation of Wurplestan is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Jennifer Long with an iron fist, and renowned for its vat-grown people, ubiquitous missile silos, and infamous sell-swords. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 2.265 billion Wurplestanians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Education, Administration, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Spirituality is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of ENMA-6. The average income tax rate is 87.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Wurplestanian economy, worth 322 trillion Struups a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Basket Weaving. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 142,453 Struups, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Undersea volcanoes receive strongly worded letters for violating environmental regulations, a cat may look at a king and a dude can look at an ass, euthanasia is legal, and you can bet your bottom dollar that gambling will cost you an arm and a leg. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Wurplestan's national animal is the Long horned Elephant Toad, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Temporary Spiritage.

Wurplestan is ranked 32,819^th in the world and 1,076^th in The North Pacific for Highest Drug Use, scoring 99.4 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.