The Metropole of Woodsmere is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Sir with an even hand, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, ubiquitous missile silos, and enslaved workforce. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 1.756 billion Meares are free to succeed or fail in life on their own merits; the successful tend to enjoy an opulent (but moralistic) lifestyle, while the failures can be seen crowding out most jails.

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Wassenstad. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 28.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Woodsmerean economy, worth 235 trillion metrons a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Retail. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an impressive 134,358 metrons, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 670,789 per year while the poor average 15,151, a ratio of 44.3 to 1.

Voting is compulsory, children need to wear helmets and safety harnesses before mounting a carousel horse, mandatory state-funded classes teach Libertarianism, and supermarket milk is a shear-thickening fluid that can stop small-caliber bullets. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Woodsmere's national animal is the Wassen Hare, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Woodsmere is ranked 300,659^th in the world and 111^th in Metropolitan Union for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 43.9 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.