The Supreme Empire of Woodleland is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Kalendorf with an iron fist, and notable for its vat-grown people, national health service, and labour-free parental leave. The compassionate, cynical, cheerful population of 15.442 billion Woodlelandians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Christmas. The average income tax rate is 78.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Woodlelandian economy, worth a remarkable 2,748 trillion Faulkners a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 177,991 Faulkners, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Exorbitant spending on icebreakers breaks the ice at every budget meeting, Kalendorf is strangely popular with male politicians' wives, the armed forces pride themselves on being conventional and predictable, and the saying 'break a leg' is now taken literally. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Woodleland's national animal is the Owl, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Socratian Enlightenment.

Woodleland is ranked 95,044^th in the world and 267^th in Europeia for Most Authoritarian, with 975.39 milliStalins.