The Kingdom of Witlend is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by King Baldam Al Witter with an iron fist, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, national health service, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 3.695 billion Witlendians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Norbken. The average income tax rate is 58.6%.

The Witlendian economy, worth 178 trillion francs a year, is dominated by the Gambling industry, with significant contributions from Woodchip Exports, Soda Sales, and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 48,223 francs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.1 times as much as the poorest.

King Baldam Al Witter goes out to lunch surrounded by large men in dark glasses, commemoration of the Great Oneid War costs almost as much as the war itself, female brains are believed to heat up dangerously when 'overclocked', and every week is blindness awareness week. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Witlend's national animal is the crocodile, which can occasionally be seen avoiding garbage in the nation's murky oceans, and its national religion is Witlend Paganism.

Witlend is ranked 131,788^th in the world and 151^st in Oneid for Highest Wealthy Incomes, with 93,062 Standard Monetary Units.