by Max Barry

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Most Ignorant Citizens: 965th Most Advanced Defense Forces: 978th Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,041st
The Oppressed Peoples of
Iron Fist Consumerists
We suck
Influence
Envoy
Diplomacy Officer
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Few

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

WE Suck badly

Population1.413 billion

CapitalThe bunker
LeaderHis Supreme Excellency Rowan

Currencypound
AnimalPeasant

The Oppressed Peoples of WE Suck badly is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by His Supreme Excellency Rowan with an iron fist, and notable for its complete lack of prisons, ban on automobiles, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 1.413 billion WE Suck badlyians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Administration, and Industry are also considered important, while Welfare is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The bunker. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 78.2%.

The frighteningly efficient WE Suck badlyian economy, worth 227 trillion pounds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Gambling. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 160,854 pounds, with the richest citizens earning 9.9 times as much as the poorest.

The bunker is a police state during international summits, political hopefuls must announce their intentions decades in advance to accommodate extensive background checks, the Peasants of WE Suck badly are surprisingly well-adjusted, and it is rumoured that His Supreme Excellency Rowan uses a magic 8-ball to make policy decisions. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. WE Suck badly's national animal is the Peasant, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

WE Suck badly is ranked 169,631st in the world and 6th in Coalition of Authoritarian Nations for Most Cultured, scoring 6 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.

Top
1%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 965thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 978thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,041stLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1,666thTop
5%
Largest Mining Sector: 2,160thMost Corrupt Governments: 2,405thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2,853rdMost Primitive: 3,435thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 3,478thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 3,670thLargest Black Market: 3,822ndMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 3,927thNudest: 4,777thMost Avoided: 4,979thMost Subsidized Industry: 6,254thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 7,057thTop
10%
Most Advanced Public Transport: 9,148thHighest Average Incomes: 10,524thMost Conservative: 11,728thHighest Average Tax Rates: 14,154thLargest Governments: 14,423rd

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : WE Suck badly's influence in Coalition of Authoritarian Nations fell from "Diplomat" to "Envoy".
  • : WE Suck badly's influence in Coalition of Authoritarian Nations rose from "Envoy" to "Diplomat".
  • : WE Suck badly's influence in Coalition of Authoritarian Nations rose from "Duckspeaker" to "Envoy".
  • : Following new legislation in WE Suck badly, it is rumoured that His Supreme Excellency Rowan uses a magic 8-ball to make policy decisions.
  • : WE Suck badly voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Repeal "Preventing Desertification"".
  • : WE Suck badly voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Repeal "Preventing Desertification"".
  • : Following new legislation in WE Suck badly, the Peasants of WE Suck badly are surprisingly well-adjusted.
  • : Following new legislation in WE Suck badly, political hopefuls must announce their intentions decades in advance to accommodate extensive background checks.
  • : Following new legislation in WE Suck badly, The bunker is a police state during international summits.
  • : Following new legislation in WE Suck badly, children playing with walkie-talkies are told to 'get a job'.

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