The Griffin of Warris is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Commissary-General Jacob Princeton with an iron fist, and renowned for its parental licensing program, pith helmet sales, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 5.582 billion Warrisians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Healthcare, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Victoria. The average income tax rate is 62.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but sluggish Warrisian economy, worth 164 trillion wings a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Trout Farming. Average income is 29,433 wings, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Stony-faced prosecutors play loud gangster rap music during court proceedings, citizens wishing to be parents must undertake a series of gruelling tests to evaluate their capabilities, vital intelligence-gathering activities are put on hold as agents return home for seduction training and advanced poker instruction, and politicians are fired for opening subjective statements with "I believe". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Warris's national animal is the Griffin, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Victorianism.

Warris is ranked 202,752^nd in the world and 1,355^th in 10000 Islands for Smartest Citizens, with 20.86 quips per hour.