The Christmas Commonwealth of Waffland is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Kiö Rizi with an even hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, avowedly heterosexual populace, and zero percent divorce rate. The hard-nosed, devout population of 2.327 billion Waffles are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Defense, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Waffleton. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 44.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Waffish economy, worth 241 trillion Borrows a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving, Tourism, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 103,667 Borrows, with the richest citizens earning 6.2 times as much as the poorest.

Executions are marked by quiet dignity and maybe a final round or two of whist, every week is blindness awareness week, it's considered providence that the political lexicon contains a syrup of company slogans, and main battle tanks stalk the woods of Waffland in search of Narwhals. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Waffland's national animal is the Narwhal, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Protestantism.

Waffland is ranked 52,857^th in the world and 603^rd in Europe for Lowest Crime Rates, with 72.68 law-abiding acts per hour.