The Tsaral Realm of Volstokn is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Tsarina Katja Hämäläinen II with an iron fist, and notable for its unlimited-speed roads, digital currency, and compulsory gun ownership. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 8.056 billion Volkish are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt government is dominated by the Department of Defense, with Law & Order, Industry, and Education also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Volkoniemi. The average income tax rate is 93.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Volkish economy, worth a remarkable 1,422 trillion Markkaa a year, is mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Automobile Manufacturing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 176,589 Markkaa, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

Weighted heels are added to military boots to ensure diminutive celebrities meet minimum requirements, the roads are notorious throughout the region for their peril, the nation's diplomatic missives are now delivered via sniper rifle, and vacationing Volkish expect to be treated as royalty. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Volstokn's national animal is the Maned Wolf, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Elisimism.

Volstokn is ranked 213,402^nd in the world and 7,965^th in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -261.15 on the Scary Big Number Scale.