The Something of Virgolia is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Dictator with an iron fist, and notable for its ubiquitous missile silos, enforced nudity, and hatred of cheese. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 11.373 billion Virgolians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, although Law & Order and Industry are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Capital. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Virgolian economy, worth a remarkable 4,937 trillion Children a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, extremely specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 434,116 Children, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

There is no such thing as an innocent fling in the Virgolian military, the navy is chrome-plating its battleships to prevent rust, veterans' meet-ups involve a lot of tail sniffing, and nations across the world are quick to praise Dictator's good looks and intellectual prowess. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Virgolia's national animal is the NS player, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Anger.

Virgolia is ranked 2,069^th in the world and 48^th in The East Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 143.42 law-abiding acts per hour.