by Max Barry

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Least Corrupt Governments: 62nd Most Rebellious Youth: 64th Healthiest Citizens: 148th
The Galactik Imperium of
Liberal Democratic Socialists
hardcore garbage pail kid posse
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Deck


Population28.611 billion


Currencydonut hole
Animalpiggus chunkus

The Galactik Imperium of Velon is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by SQUEE with a fair hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, strictly enforced bedtime, and complete absence of social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 28.611 billion velonians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The tiny government is effectively ruled by the Department of Education, with Public Transport, Healthcare, and Environment also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Defense aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of poopopolis. The average income tax rate is 1.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The enormous but inefficient velonian economy, worth a remarkable 4,702 trillion donut holes a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Cheese Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 164,374 donut holes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Drones are unable to lift the weight of their accompanying paperwork, the nation's politicians are known more for the internet memes they spawn than any of their accomplishments, death row inmates cower in fear at the phrase "one-year anniversary", and it's been a banner year for local vexillology. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Velon's national animal is the piggus chunkus, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Velon is ranked 144,896th in the world and 7,497th in The North Pacific for Most Armed, with 0.15 Weapons Per Person.

Least Corrupt Governments: 62ndMost Rebellious Youth: 64thHealthiest Citizens: 148thNicest Citizens: 173rdMost Compassionate Citizens: 177thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 288thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 294thMost Cheerful Citizens: 325thMost Pacifist: 332ndSmartest Citizens: 430thLargest Publishing Industry: 591stBest Weather: 829thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 860thLongest Average Lifespans: 989thHighest Economic Output: 1,358thHighest Crime Rates: 1,374thLargest Populations: 1,441stMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,583rdTop
Lowest Overall Tax Burden: 1,725thMost Influential: 2,212thHighest Disposable Incomes: 2,975thMost Cultured: 3,007thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 3,400thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 4,409thMost Scientifically Advanced: 4,458thMost Beautiful Environments: 4,538thHighest Poor Incomes: 6,122ndLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 6,281stMost Advanced Public Education: 6,297thSafest: 6,421stTop
Highest Average Incomes: 9,901stMost Inclusive: 11,561stLargest Governments: 12,185thMost Secular: 12,931stMost Advanced Public Transport: 16,126th
Least Corrupt Governments: 3rd in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 5th in the regionNicest Citizens: 9th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 10th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 11th in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 11th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 13th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 14th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 16th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 16th in the regionMost Pacifist: 21st in the regionLargest Populations: 24th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 31st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 37th in the regionBest Weather: 42nd in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 47th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 49th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 53rd in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 53rd in the regionTop
Highest Disposable Incomes: 107th in the regionMost Cultured: 137th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 181st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 233rd in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 255th in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 290th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 295th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 303rd in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 314th in the regionSafest: 339th in the regionTop
Highest Average Incomes: 462nd in the regionLargest Governments: 551st in the regionMost Secular: 636th in the regionLargest Black Market: 653rd in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 658th in the regionMost Inclusive: 670th in the regionMost Influential: 772nd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Velon, it's been a banner year for local vexillology.
  • : Following new legislation in Velon, death row inmates cower in fear at the phrase "one-year anniversary".
  • : Following new legislation in Velon, the nation's politicians are known more for the internet memes they spawn than any of their accomplishments.
  • : Following new legislation in Velon, drones are unable to lift the weight of their accompanying paperwork.
  • : Velon was reclassified from "New York Times Democracy" to "Liberal Democratic Socialists".
  • : Following new legislation in Velon, Little League matches are often attended by riot police with water cannon... just in case.
  • : Velon was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Highest Average Incomes.
  • : Following new legislation in Velon, economists confusingly list "fusarium rot and leaf blight" as major risk factors for monetary deflation.
  • : Velon was reclassified from "Liberal Democratic Socialists" to "New York Times Democracy".
  • : Following new legislation in Velon, elementary school students are required to master Bach's Chaconne in D before graduation.


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