The Galactik Imperium of Velon is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by SQUEE with a fair hand, and remarkable for its anti-smoking policies, smutty television, and keen interest in outer space. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 35.958 billion velonians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The relatively small, outspoken government is effectively ruled by the Department of Education, with Public Transport, Healthcare, and Environment also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Defense aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of poopopolis. The average income tax rate is 3.6%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The strong velonian economy, worth a remarkable 7,287 trillion donut holes a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 202,674 donut holes, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Exceptionally healthy police officers can sprint after crooks for hours on end, feuilletons can only be deciphered with a Galliennais dictionary, "Mad Max: Returning Again to Barrydrome" is this year's unexpected summer blockbuster, and the beauty of coastal towns is marred only slightly by all the closed-down storefronts. Crime, especially youth-related, is pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Velon's national animal is the piggus chunkus, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Velon is ranked 237,765^th in the world and 9,865^th in The North Pacific for Rudest Citizens, with 4.28 insults per minute.