The Liberal Tropical Emirates of Velkia and the Islands is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Protectorate Pika Paquet with a fair hand, and remarkable for its anti-smoking policies, strictly enforced bedtime, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, humorless population of 24.342 billion Velkia Islanders hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, outspoken government prioritizes Education, with Environment, Social Policy, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Defense are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Four Corners. The average income tax rate is 95.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Velkian economy, worth a remarkable 6,079 trillion Crowns a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Cheese Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 249,742 Crowns, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

3D printed organs are a breath of new life for the sick and elderly, a suspicious number of John Smiths are known to donate to Velkian politicians, a niche industry catering to S&M enthusiasts has sprung up, and the Finance Ministry posts hourly updates on where taxpayer money is spent. Crime is totally unknown. Velkia and the Islands's national animal is the Breegull, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Atheism.

Velkia and the Islands is ranked 243,528^th in the world and 471^st in Forest for Most Primitive, scoring -739.34 on the Scary Big Number Scale.