The Hasal-Pharaoh of Valerievna is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Salem with an iron fist, and remarkable for its fear of technology, smutty television, and compulsory gun ownership. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 10.486 billion Peebbles are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Spirituality, Administration, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Law & Order and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Valerievna City. The average income tax rate is 62.5%.

The all-consuming Peebble economy, worth a remarkable 1,746 trillion gold coins a year, is mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Gambling, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 166,584 gold coins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.2 times as much as the poorest.

The Grinder at Fat Sal's Deli and Recycling Center is a national institution, the barter economy has taken over as the gold coin has become worthless, epidemiologists happily announce that the reported incidence of depression is close to zero percent, and a rolling news ticker tape of disclaimers runs across the bottom of the screen on all TV shows. Crime is pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. Valerievna's national animal is the monster, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Lynxism.

Valerievna is ranked 226,547^th in the world and 6,191^st in Osiris for Fattest Citizens, with 9.2 Obesity Rate.