by Max Barry

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Most Primitive: 803rdMost Ignorant Citizens: 1,000thMost Devout: 1,904th
The Fifth Hellhole of
Iron Fist Consumerists
We suck
Influence
Newcomer
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Economy
Strong
Political Freedom
Rare

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Uptisd

Population3.018 billion

CapitalTrumpsburg
LeaderRichard Potato
FaithScientology

CurrencyThorn
AnimalMonster Mosquito

The Fifth Hellhole of Uptisd is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Richard Potato with an iron fist, and notable for its closed borders, deadly medical pandemics, and complete lack of public education. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 3.018 billion Pissers are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Spirituality, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Trumpsburg. The average income tax rate is 60.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Uptisdian economy, worth 198 trillion Thorns a year, is quite specialized and led by the Woodchip Exports industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Arms Manufacturing, and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is 65,791 Thorns, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Dessert dishes make up the Uptisdian breakfast menu, decreased demand for toilets is saving the prison service a lot of money, it's a common sight to see angry commuters with grenade launchers mounted on their vehicles, and there is no such thing as an innocent fling in the Uptisdian military. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Uptisd's national animal is the Monster Mosquito, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Scientology.

Uptisd is ranked 39,636th in the world and 943rd in the Rejected Realms for Most Armed, with 1.86 Weapons Per Person.

Top
1%
Most Primitive: 803rdMost Ignorant Citizens: 1,000thMost Devout: 1,904thTop
5%
Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 3,142ndLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 4,885thMost Avoided: 5,953rdMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 7,446thMost Corrupt Governments: 8,739thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 10,747thLargest Mining Sector: 11,133rdMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 11,903rdLargest Black Market: 11,927thTop
10%
Most Conservative: 19,186thFattest Citizens: 20,536th
Top
1%
Most Primitive: 32nd in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 36th in the regionMost Devout: 48th in the regionTop
5%
Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 98th in the regionMost Avoided: 319th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 333rd in the regionTop
10%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 385th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 401st in the regionFattest Citizens: 478th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 579th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 583rd in the regionMost Conservative: 608th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 627th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Uptisd was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Conservative.
  • : Uptisd was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Fattest Citizens.
  • : Following new legislation in Uptisd, there is no such thing as an innocent fling in the Uptisdian military.
  • : Following new legislation in Uptisd, it's a common sight to see angry commuters with grenade launchers mounted on their vehicles.
  • : Following new legislation in Uptisd, decreased demand for toilets is saving the prison service a lot of money.
  • : Following new legislation in Uptisd, dessert dishes make up the Uptisdian breakfast menu.
  • : Following new legislation in Uptisd, sniffer dogs are trained to follow clouds of fruity-smelling vapor.
  • : Uptisd's influence in The Rejected Realms rose from "Hatchling" to "Newcomer".
  • : Uptisd was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Largest Mining Sector and Most Advanced Law Enforcement.
  • : Following new legislation in Uptisd, citizens complain about a burning sensation after bathing.

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