The Gerontocratic Patriarchy of Upper Nowhere is a massive, socially progressive nation, ruled by Christopher Lee with a fair hand, and renowned for its free-roaming dinosaurs, keen interest in outer space, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 2.396 billion Upper Nowhereans enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The relatively small, corrupt, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kilminster. The average income tax rate is 10.2%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Upper Nowherean economy, worth 522 trillion shillings a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Retail, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an amazing 218,115 shillings, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

There's no cure or sympathy for the common cold, it takes months to get the proper permits for a child's first tricycle, religious households enthusiastically use whips in private, and the law says it's okay to sell a bomb to a terrorist so long as they promise not to detonate it. Crime is totally unknown. Upper Nowhere's national animal is the hog-nosed bat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Scam.

Upper Nowhere is ranked 34,699^th in the world and 42^nd in The Hole To Hide In for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 2,373.18 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.