by Max Barry

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The All-Circumspect Confederacy of
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Unparalleled Lunacy- National Salutations, Felicitations and Commiserations

UNPARALLELED LUNACY
The All-Chaotic Confederacy of Unparalleled Lunacy and the Otherwise Mentally Deranged, Estranged and Unsane
Commonly contracted to ACCUL
Location- Somewhere in the south-west Pacific, north of Australia and currently hiding behind Papua New Guinea so China can't get at us.
Unofficial Motto- "Pedicabo Praecepta!" (translation shall be left to the reader's discretion)
Anthem- The Crazy World of Arthur Brown- Fire
Capital- Apogee of Absurdity, the
Largest City- Nothing at the End of the Lane
Un-Official Language- Jibberish, although due to declining levels of official competency in this field, French and/or American are often substituted, on the grounds that no-one knows what they are either, and no-one can practically tell the difference. Except for Good Lunarch Shevon the Mad, but this is why we have an anarchy, we understand. Hopefully you do as well...
Government- None (each and every citizen is entrusted with their own behaviour)
First Luniere- The Paranoid and Confused Yet Still Unutterably Marvellous Quinton Rain Islwyn Derryl Hackett (who has served as the Head-In-State from July 2017 to March 2019, inclusive)
Luniette- Elenor Friedkin Johanssen
Second Luniere- The Certifiably Insane Isaiah Cuthbert Stewart Weed (The Feet-In-State, in order to provide proper checks and balances to the Head, and Offender of the Realm)
Lunarch- The Svelte and Passional Whilst Tinged Inexcusably With A Needless Hint of Imperial Velvet From The Great Colonies Beyond the Night Shevon Avery Pound (the Lunarch is a hereditary role, which is generally passed down in the time-honoured tradition of "the Berlusconi Flick")
With the abolition of the Government, the position of Lunarch/Luniette has been changed to 'Head of Anti-State'
National Religion- Insanity
National Heroes- Cumerbund Prendergast Jingo-Snorting Bulldog (leader of the nation during the Second Word War fought against the tyranny of the Poet Laureate, 1979-1985), Robbin' the Hood (dreadful, dreadful rap artist circa the Year Too-Kay Bug, which was only defeated via the ceaseless exterminatory efforts of the Vapid Health Service, but this is beside the point), General Bernard "Monty" Montague of the Battle of Python, Eddy Izzard and the Lizard Wizard, Emy Beerhall the Horrendously Untuned, Blackface and Vomit (children's cartoon legendary for promoting DIY nuclear experimentation).
Currency- Illegal Tender, one of which is split into sixteen separate Doubloon Cream pieces, each of which in turn comprises four Ounces. For this reason 1 Illegal Tender is equal to 4 Pounds, though not exactly Sterling.
Religion- Mass Hysteria, which is documented by the Annual Great Unparalleled Lunar Rave, which may or may not be indistinguishable from a sort of Midlands-based-Woodstock from certain angles.
Major Exports- Drugs (all types known to man, woman and horses), strange, fiberglass-bodied sports cars and armoured-personnel-carriers, crumpets, Tiiiiiiiiimmmmmmmmbbbbbbbeeeerrrrrr!!!!, mudstone, lemonstone, and rolling stones, funny hats, personal-defence-weapons-of-mass-destruction, deported criminals, avant-guard films, literature, and utterly confusing television series, artificial intelligence, and alakline rock.
Major Imports- China, kumquats, swimming pools, medical goods, airbags, Madonna records, and any form of workplace safety equipment. Also anything which is not required to be hallucinogenic.
National Animal- the Bandersnatch (Lewis Carrol, 1871)
Opening Hours- 9am to 5pm (except Sundays, Daughterdays and Poker Nights) (formerly public holidays, but disregard that as they have now been privatised. maybe try the golf course?)

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