The Magical Congress of United Vinceland is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by President Vincent Von Richthofen with an even hand, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, parental licensing program, and compulsory gun ownership. The hard-nosed population of 4.634 billion United Vincelandians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New York City. The average income tax rate is 76.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient United Vincelandian economy, worth 674 trillion Bitcoins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, broadly diversified black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Retail. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 145,513 Bitcoins, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Teens reminisce about when birthdays weren't celebrated with a cool glass of cabbage juice and a slice of corn-cream topped millet cake, traditional vegetarians are fuming over the introduction of vat-grown meat to the menu, Bigtopian relations have become a minefield, and military advisors frequently remind San Vitenzan farmers that they have to pull the pin on a grenade before throwing it. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. United Vinceland's national animal is the Wampus Cat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Christianity.

United Vinceland is ranked 76,604^th in the world and 55^th in Texas for Most Authoritarian, with 850.3 milliStalins.