The Southeast Texan Republic of United States of Woodward is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by The Big W with an even hand, and notable for its zero percent divorce rate, compulsory military service, and pith helmet sales. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 23.023 billion Woodwardians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked morass — juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Houston. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Woodwardian economy, worth a remarkable 4,339 trillion Dollars a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 188,498 Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Flipping a coin to make a decision leads to a referral to Gambling Addiction Services, defense lawyers suggestively note to juries how flagrantly happy victims were, kindergartners' favourite dance move is the stop-drop-and-roll, and factories place endangered birds in their rafters in pursuit of government protections. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. United States of Woodward's national animal is the Lion, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Catholicism.

United States of Woodward is ranked 25,246^th in the world and 6^th in Texas for Most Income Equality, scoring 75.63 on the Marx-Engels Emancipation Scale.