The Southeast Texan Republic of United States of Woodward is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by The Big W with a fair hand, and renowned for its smutty television, otherworldly petting zoo, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 16.057 billion Woodwardians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Houston. The average income tax rate is 99.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Woodwardian economy, worth a remarkable 3,025 trillion Dollars a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Furniture Restoration, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 188,405 Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Ambulances aren't allowed to overtake hearses, Woodwardian junkies argue that poppy stalks are ornamental flowers, owning a really cute pet is grounds for immediate investigation, and history textbook pages are used as impromptu tissues by distraught students. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. United States of Woodward's national animal is the Lion, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Catholicism.

United States of Woodward is ranked 7,458^th in the world and 19^th in Texas for Highest Average Incomes, with 188,405.91 Standard Monetary Units.