The Southeast Texan Republic of United States of Woodward is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by The Big W with an even hand, and renowned for its national health service, absence of drug laws, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, cheerful, devout population of 11.539 billion Woodwardians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Education, and Industry are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Houston. The average income tax rate is 99.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Woodwardian economy, worth a remarkable 2,141 trillion Dollars a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 185,563 Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Breast milk is being redistributed from each according to their ability to each according to their need, vital intelligence-gathering activities are put on hold as agents return home for seduction training and advanced poker instruction, hidden bedroom-cams are installed to catch mothers doing their kids' homework, and kids these days know how to throw a proper punch. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. United States of Woodward's national animal is the Lion, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Catholicism.

United States of Woodward is ranked 170,811^th in the world and 161^st in Texas for Highest Crime Rates, with 1.37 Crimes Per Hour.