The Holy Calanian Empire of United States of Nova Calania is a massive, cultured nation, remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, complete lack of prisons, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-working, cynical, cheerful, devout population of 2.072 billion Nova Calanians are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Saint-Jean-Jacques-sur-Mer. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 53.5%.

The frighteningly efficient United States of Nova Calanian economy, worth 345 trillion franc jean-jacquois a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Gambling, and Arms Manufacturing. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 166,877 franc jean-jacquois, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 499,886 per year while the poor average 43,541, a ratio of 11.5 to 1.

The derisively named "Morlocks of Moria" futilely demand time in the sun, taxpayer money is hard at work exorcizing laundry, devotion to God is only skin-deep, and the inside lane of every highway is for parked vehicles only. Crime is totally unknown. United States of Nova Calania's national animal is the tapir, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is hockey and football.

United States of Nova Calania is ranked 37,703^rd in the world and 16^th in Anaia for Largest Governments, scoring 25.02 on the Bureaucratic Comprehensiveness Rating Scale Index.