The Czecho-Carthciagrad Empire of United States of Mericaaaa is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Micheal Williams with an even hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, smutty television, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed population of 3.081 billion Mericans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, corrupt, socially-minded government prioritizes Defense, with Industry, Administration, and Education also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Prague. The average income tax rate is 82.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient United States of Mericaaaan economy, worth 515 trillion Scent Pennies a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Trout Farming. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 167,230 Scent Pennies, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Sociologists can charge whatever fee they like as the nation tries to find itself, moonshine has made a resurgence, Micheal Williams's campaign events reach their climax when the celebrity endorsers reveal themselves, and the steaks are too high for ambassadors to butcher foreign relationships. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. United States of Mericaaaa's national animal is the The Golden Lion, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Catholic Christianity.

United States of Mericaaaa is ranked 306,523^rd in the world and 30^th in The Order of Corinth for Most Primitive, scoring -393.79 on the Scary Big Number Scale.