The I Know Best State of United States of Dictators is a huge, efficient nation, ruled by President Hikemet Dinc with a fair hand, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, free-roaming dinosaurs, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 838 million Dictatorsians are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The relatively small, corrupt, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Wilmington. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 23.7%.

The frighteningly efficient United States of Dictatorsian economy, worth 125 trillion Dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Tourism, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is notable. Average income is an impressive 149,658 Dollars, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 650,140 per year while the poor average 21,840, a ratio of 29.8 to 1.

From the highest mountain to the deepest cave - one can always count on finding a good cell signal in United States of Dictators, inter-species marriages are ignored by the government, the leading national news source is 'my cousin Billy-Bob on MyFace', and 10-year-olds who struggle with integrating by parts are considered slow learners. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. United States of Dictators's national animal is the Bald Eagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

United States of Dictators is ranked 18,813^th in the world and 969^th in The North Pacific for Smartest Citizens, with 64.89 quips per hour.