The Union of United Socialist Republics of LAN is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Chairman Sebskij with an even hand, and renowned for its anti-smoking policies, sprawling nuclear power plants, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The compassionate, cheerful population of 15.523 billion LANians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, socially-minded government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Dragon's Nest. The income tax rate is 100%.

The enormous but underdeveloped LANian economy, worth a remarkable 1,698 trillion Sebskijs a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is an impressive 109,448 Sebskijs, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

LANians submit requests for a date in writing with an enclosed RSVP card, skateparks can be found in every city, a faint smell of body odour can be detected at several miles' distance from the National Science Park, and diplomatic missions typically end with a flurry of childish insults, accusations and phlegm. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. United Socialist Republics of LAN's national animal is the Dragon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

United Socialist Republics of LAN is ranked 241,478^th in the world and 476^th in The Leftist Assembly for Largest Retail Industry, scoring -37.33 on the Shrinkwrap Consignment Productivity Index.