The United Socialist States of United Socialist Republics of Finland is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by kiisseli with an iron fist, and notable for its compulsory military service, irreverence towards religion, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 11.21 billion United Socialist Republics of Finlandians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tamperse. The average income tax rate is 90.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming United Socialist Republics of Finlandian economy, worth a remarkable 1,425 trillion Markkaa a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 127,152 Markkaa, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Soldiers' positions are given away by the glint of their bayonets, engine room hooch is the drink of choice among the nation's navy, there is no such thing as an innocent fling in the United Socialist Republics of Finlandian military, and an increasing number of citizens believe the world is flat. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. United Socialist Republics of Finland's national animal is the Seal, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

United Socialist Republics of Finland is ranked 212,762^nd in the world and 30^th in Taijitu for Largest Soda Pop Sector, scoring -10.61 on the Addison-Fukk Productivity Rating.