The United Socialist States of United Socialist Republics of Finland is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by kiisseli with an iron fist, and remarkable for its parental licensing program, anti-smoking policies, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 13.451 billion United Socialist Republics of Finlandians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tamperse. The average income tax rate is 93.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming United Socialist Republics of Finlandian economy, worth a remarkable 1,611 trillion Markkaa a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is an impressive 119,805 Markkaa, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Children who believe in the tooth fairy are frequently shipped off to Bigtopia, withdrawal of support for drug addicts is leaving many with cold sweats, vital intelligence-gathering activities are put on hold as agents return home for seduction training and advanced poker instruction, and the nation's atlases tend to go out of date every few weeks. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. United Socialist Republics of Finland's national animal is the Seal, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

United Socialist Republics of Finland is ranked 223,716^th in the world and 32^nd in Taijitu for Largest Publishing Industry, scoring -9.54 on the Bella Potter Productivity e-Index.