The United Socialist States of United Socialist Republics of Finland is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by kiisseli with an iron fist, and remarkable for its closed borders, compulsory military service, and sprawling nuclear power plants. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 8.982 billion United Socialist Republics of Finlandians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tamperse. The average income tax rate is 90.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse United Socialist Republics of Finlandian economy, worth a remarkable 1,101 trillion Markkaa a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is an impressive 122,616 Markkaa, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

The fate of the world literally rests on kiisseli's fingers, to 'cut off family ties' is no longer just a phrase, hidden bedroom-cams are installed to catch mothers doing their kids' homework, and the canal flows through the land like a twisty turny thing. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. United Socialist Republics of Finland's national animal is the Seal, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

United Socialist Republics of Finland is ranked 163,364^th in the world and 36^th in Taijitu for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 36.31 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.