The United Socialist States of United Socialist Republics of Finland is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by kiisseli with an iron fist, and notable for its parental licensing program, irreverence towards religion, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 14.23 billion United Socialist Republics of Finlandians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tamperse. The average income tax rate is 93.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient United Socialist Republics of Finlandian economy, worth a remarkable 1,701 trillion Markkaa a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is an impressive 119,605 Markkaa, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Nine out of ten citizens of United Socialist Republics of Finland answered 'nuclear safety inspector' when asked their occupation, getting an autograph has become harder than ever, older citizens lament over the loss of law and order, and serial killers are the country's biggest import. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. United Socialist Republics of Finland's national animal is the Seal, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

United Socialist Republics of Finland is ranked 20,962^nd in the world and 12^th in Taijitu for Most Beautiful Environments, with 956.73 pounds of wildlife per square mile.