The Federal Republic of United Patriots and Petroleum is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Klaus Von Spielmanov with an iron fist, and renowned for its infamous sell-swords, frequent executions, and unlimited-speed roads. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 1.048 billion United Patriots are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The relatively small, corrupt, pro-business, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Law & Order, Industry, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Spirituality receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of West Rosneft. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 27.6%.

The frighteningly efficient United Patriots and Petroleumian economy, worth 158 trillion RubleKommandoes a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Uranium Mining, and Information Technology. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is an impressive 151,031 RubleKommandoes, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 796,847 per year while the poor average 15,228, a ratio of 52.3 to 1.

The government has declined to declare any particular religion as its 'official' one, nature magazines featuring stick insects on their covers are sometimes mistaken for fashion magazines, Eau de Trashcan has become a wildly popular perfume, and people talk about things being better when men were men. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. United Patriots and Petroleum's national animal is the Golden Lion, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

United Patriots and Petroleum is ranked 7,093^rd in the world and 1^st in The Federalist Workers Initiative for Most Avoided, scoring 178 on the Kardashian Reflex Score.