by Max Barry

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Most Secular: 3,554thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 4,006thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 4,346th
The Grand Capitalist Rebublic of
Iron Fist Consumerists
We are not your enemy, until you make us one.
The President Qier Zyzzka
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

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United Kuzikstan

Population6.311 billion

LeaderThe President Qier Zyzzka


The Grand Capitalist Rebublic of United Kuzikstan is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by The President Qier Zyzzka with an iron fist, and remarkable for its closed borders, aversion to nipples, and strictly enforced bedtime. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 6.311 billion Kuzikstanians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Education, and Industry are also considered important, while Spirituality isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kuzikstania. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 87.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Kuzikstanian economy, worth 996 trillion Tumis a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Trout Farming, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 157,853 Tumis, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 626,109 per year while the poor average 26,876, a ratio of 23.3 to 1.

In court almost every witness is a hostile witness, historical commemorations regularly devolve into militaristic jingoism, helium balloons lift the nation's spacecraft towards the heavens, and family trees become bare as entire branches are lopped off. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. United Kuzikstan's national animal is the Blobfish, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways, and its national religion is Atheism.

United Kuzikstan is ranked 180,610th in the world and 49th in Northern Utopia for Highest Drug Use, scoring 37.8 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.

Most Secular: 3,554thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 4,006thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 4,346thLowest Crime Rates: 5,088thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 5,264thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 5,436thMost Scientifically Advanced: 5,806thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 5,922ndHealthiest Citizens: 6,150thMost Corrupt Governments: 6,453rdLongest Average Lifespans: 8,299thMost Developed: 8,506thLargest Governments: 9,178thLargest Information Technology Sector: 9,834thHighest Average Tax Rates: 10,360thMost Efficient Economies: 11,121stTop
Highest Average Incomes: 12,512thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 13,177thSmartest Citizens: 14,960thMost Advanced Public Education: 15,203rdMost Subsidized Industry: 15,497thMost Authoritarian: 16,797thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 17,978thMost Conservative: 18,057thHighest Economic Output: 18,225thMost Stationary: 18,231stMost Influential: 19,949thLargest Mining Sector: 20,313thLargest Black Market: 21,827th
Most Corrupt Governments: 2nd in the regionTop
Lowest Crime Rates: 4th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 4th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 5th in the regionMost Stationary: 5th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 5th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 5th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 5th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 5th in the regionMost Secular: 7th in the region

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