by Max Barry

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Most Primitive: 4,691stMost Valuable International Artwork: 6,565thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 8,877th
The Pink Kingdom of
Corrupt Dictatorship
Not Cute Wafflekit rule the world
People's Kitsy
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population2.665 billion

FaithSacc Mylk


The Pink Kingdom of Uncuteatoo is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Wafflekit with an iron fist, and remarkable for its compulsory vegetarianism, irreverence towards religion, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, cynical population of 2.665 billion Uncuteatooans are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, well-organized morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Blueberry. The average income tax rate is 81.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The Uncuteatooan economy, worth 135 trillion Ostriches a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, highly specialized black market in Basket Weaving, Book Publishing, and Gambling. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 50,867 Ostriches, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Nephews and nieces of the monarch resort to begging from relatives in palace halls, the government has little issue with allowing its citizens to languish in foreign jails, sales of disinfectant wipes have skyrocketed, and RPG fans reminisce fondly about when people thought they were evil and dangerous rather than geeky and socially inept. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Uncuteatoo's national animal is the Octopus, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Sacc Mylk.

Uncuteatoo is ranked 4,691st in the world and 1st in Social Technocratic Union for Most Primitive, scoring 133.08 on the Scary Big Number Scale.

Most Primitive: 4,691stMost Valuable International Artwork: 6,565thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 8,877thBest Weather: 8,987thMost Pacifist: 11,450thMost Beautiful Environments: 11,815thTop
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 12,542ndHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 12,734thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 14,044thHighest Average Tax Rates: 14,487thMost Compassionate Citizens: 14,722ndMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 14,746thMost Inclusive: 15,230thMost Influential: 17,488thMost Advanced Public Education: 17,835thHealthiest Citizens: 18,133rdLongest Average Lifespans: 18,526thNicest Citizens: 18,583rdLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 20,475thMost Income Equality: 21,000thMost Secular: 21,848thLargest Welfare Programs: 22,052ndMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 22,246thMost Cultured: 22,554th
Most Primitive: 1st in the regionTop
Most Stationary: 4th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 5th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 5th in the regionTop
Largest Black Market: 8th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 9th in the regionNudest: 12th in the region

National Happenings

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