by Max Barry

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Largest Welfare Programs: 2,436thLargest Populations: 2,781stMost Advanced Public Transport: 3,604th
The Socialist People's Fiefdom of
Corrupt Dictatorship
Werknemers van die węreld, verenig!
Influence
Contender
Civil Rights
Below Average
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Uncle Noel

Population31.477 billion

CapitalItztlan
LeaderGeneral Secretary Hoogaboom
FaithConstitutional Socialism

CurrencyShilling
AnimalArmadillo

The Socialist People's Fiefdom of Uncle Noel is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by General Secretary Hoogaboom with an iron fist, and renowned for its rampant corporate plagiarism, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, cynical, humorless, devout population of 31.477 billion Anahuacans are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Itztlan. The average income tax rate is 93.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Uncle Noelian economy, worth a remarkable 3,509 trillion Shillings a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 111,509 Shillings, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Children seem to be getting better at lying these days, aeroplane cockpits no longer have altimeters or airspeed indicators, funeral directors are frequently looking at their watches during funerals, and government popup ads are springing up like weeds. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Uncle Noel's national animal is the Armadillo, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Constitutional Socialism.

Uncle Noel is ranked 69,044th in the world and 11th in Western Atlantic for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 3,267.61 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Largest Welfare Programs: 2,436thTop
5%
Largest Populations: 2,781stMost Advanced Public Transport: 3,604thMost Subsidized Industry: 4,187thHighest Economic Output: 4,657thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 4,751stMost Advanced Defense Forces: 5,092ndMost Cultured: 5,492ndHighest Average Tax Rates: 6,450thMost Advanced Public Education: 7,745thLowest Crime Rates: 8,376thMost Efficient Economies: 8,832ndMost Developed: 8,929thMost Corrupt Governments: 9,836thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 9,856thLargest Governments: 10,431stMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 10,934thMost Inclusive: 11,165thHighest Food Quality: 11,632ndMost Compassionate Citizens: 12,104thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 13,389thTop
10%
Smartest Citizens: 14,312thHighest Poor Incomes: 14,682ndHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 16,164thMost Influential: 17,641stMost World Assembly Endorsements: 18,464thNicest Citizens: 20,068thLargest Black Market: 21,259thLongest Average Lifespans: 21,976thMost Devout: 23,250thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 23,950thMost Scientifically Advanced: 27,518th
Top
5%
Largest Welfare Programs: 1st in the regionTop
10%
Most Advanced Public Transport: 2nd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 2nd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 3rd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 3rd in the regionMost Influential: 3rd in the regionHighest Food Quality: 3rd in the regionMost Inclusive: 3rd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Uncle Noel was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Scientifically Advanced.
  • : Uncle Noel was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Popular Tourist Destinations.
  • : Uncle Noel's influence in Western Atlantic rose from "Negotiator" to "Contender".
  • : Uncle Noel's influence in Western Atlantic fell from "Contender" to "Negotiator".
  • : Uncle Noel's influence in Western Atlantic rose from "Negotiator" to "Contender".
  • : Uncle Noel was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Scientifically Advanced.
  • : Uncle Noel was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Popular Tourist Destinations.
  • : Uncle Noel was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Popular Tourist Destinations.
  • : Uncle Noel's influence in Western Atlantic fell from "Contender" to "Negotiator".
  • : Uncle Noel was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Scientifically Advanced.

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