The United States of Ump77 is a colossal, efficient nation, remarkable for its museums and concert halls, smutty television, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.413 billion Ump77ians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 71.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Ump77ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,180 trillion Pesos a year, is mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Furniture Restoration, and Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 184,101 Pesos, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.7 times as much as the poorest.

Asking 'does my bum look big in this?' leads to 30 hours of self-esteem classes, textbooks are exactly twice as heavy as they used to be, the government has declared that sharing is uncaring, and antique comic book collectors are disappointed to hear that their treasures are worth exactly as little as their mothers said they were. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ump77's national animal is the Tiger, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Ump77 is ranked 17,226^th in the world and 1,255^th in Lazarus for Lowest Crime Rates, with 92.06 law-abiding acts per hour.