The Democratic States of Ump349 is a massive, efficient nation, renowned for its disturbing lack of elderly people, ubiquitous missile silos, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 4.657 billion Ump349ians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 67.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Ump349ian economy, worth 772 trillion Pesos a year, is dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 165,962 Pesos, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

Appendix transplant figures have recently doubled, child labor has been outlawed, ambitious "businessmen" use their children to sell and advertise their products, and politicians are battling inequality by declaring themselves better than everyone else. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ump349's national animal is the Vulture, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Ump349 is ranked 16,104^th in the world and 1,163^rd in Lazarus for Lowest Crime Rates, with 93.11 law-abiding acts per hour.