The Emirate of Ump312 is a massive, orderly nation, renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, ban on automobiles, and vat-grown people. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 4.663 billion Ump312ians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Administration. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 41.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Ump312ian economy, worth 844 trillion Golds a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 181,003 Golds, with the richest citizens earning 7.3 times as much as the poorest.

The nationalised Arms Manufacturing Industry is not interested in making weapons, the upper class have been throwing riots after hunting was recently banned, the experimental sculpture "Overtures In Dried Giraffe Dung" has been declared a national treasure, and artists from across the nation compete to renovate the restrooms of old government buildings. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ump312's national animal is the Giraffe, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Ump312 is ranked 19,392^nd in the world and 1,251^st in Osiris for Lowest Crime Rates, with 90.23 law-abiding acts per hour.