The Jingoistic States of Ump209 is a massive, efficient nation, notable for its keen interest in outer space, enslaved workforce, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 4.774 billion Ump209ians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Industry. The average income tax rate is 80.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Ump209ian economy, worth 877 trillion Dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, Information Technology, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 183,829 Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Frustrated women are overjoyed at the provision of communal washing machines, only lightning has a chance of striking Leader twice, the "swords to plowshares" policy has created a generation of farmers that can kill a yak from 200 yards away, and the death penalty has been reintroduced. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ump209's national animal is the Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Ump209 is ranked 17,032^nd in the world and 1,091^st in Osiris for Lowest Crime Rates, with 92.25 law-abiding acts per hour.