The Free Land of Ukrainian Crimea and Sevastopol is a huge, safe nation, notable for its absence of drug laws, restrictive gun laws, and spontaneously combusting cars. The compassionate, democratic population of 242 million Crimeans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Industry. The average income tax rate is 56.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Ukrainian Crimea and Sevastopolian economy, worth 18.3 trillion hrivnas a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Retail. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 75,602 hrivnas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Glancing at the car radio display while driving is treated as attempted homicide, seasonal hay-fever sufferers are attending government drug counselling sessions to get free doughnuts, the mood of raunchy movies is often ruined by the sound of babies crying, and a third of Crimeans are e-certified CEOs. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Ukrainian Crimea and Sevastopol's national animal is the Griffin, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Ukrainian Crimea and Sevastopol is ranked 92,306^th in the world and 575^th in Europe for Most Patriotic, with 17.61 flags saluted per person per day.