by Max Barry

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Lowest Crime Rates: 2ndMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 3rdHighest Average Incomes: 3rd
The Military Dictatorship of
Iron Fist Consumerists
Ignorance is Bliss
Influence
Nipper
Region
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Tzuland

Population21.673 billion

CapitalFort Tzuland
LeaderGeneral Tzu
FaithTzuism

CurrencyGold
AnimalGolden Pig

The Military Dictatorship of Tzuland is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by General Tzu with an iron fist, and renowned for its avowedly heterosexual populace, public floggings, and smutty television. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 21.673 billion Tzulandians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Fort Tzuland. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Tzulandian economy, worth an astonishing 26,072 trillion Golds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 1,203,002 Golds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

The police think a properly conducted criminal investigation is a real pain, the big red machine has ground to a halt, advertisements for jobs in the sciences run in fashion magazines, and creating cardboard imitations of missiles is a new top-secret military project. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tzuland's national animal is the Golden Pig, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Tzuism.

Tzuland is ranked 219th in the world and 4th in 10000 Islands for Smartest Citizens, with 359.2 quips per hour.

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1%
Lowest Crime Rates: 2ndMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 3rdHighest Average Incomes: 3rdLargest Manufacturing Sector: 4thHighest Poor Incomes: 6thLargest Governments: 7thMost Scientifically Advanced: 8thMost Patriotic: 11thLargest Black Market: 11thLargest Mining Sector: 16thMost Corrupt Governments: 16thLargest Information Technology Sector: 20thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 21stMost Efficient Economies: 21stLargest Insurance Industry: 23rdMost Subsidized Industry: 26thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 27thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 32ndHighest Economic Output: 46thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 51stLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 51stHighest Average Tax Rates: 83rdMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 124thMost Secular: 177thLargest Agricultural Sector: 189thSmartest Citizens: 219thSafest: 265thLargest Retail Industry: 318thMost Advanced Public Education: 359thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 436thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 466thMost Advanced Public Transport: 469thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 558thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 601stMost Valuable International Artwork: 919thRudest Citizens: 1,105thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1,161stLargest Gambling Industry: 1,251stLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,572ndTop
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Most Popular Tourist Destinations: 3,911thLargest Populations: 7,799thMost Developed: 13,384thTop
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Most Conservative: 18,138thHealthiest Citizens: 18,272ndMost World Assembly Endorsements: 18,417thMost Authoritarian: 19,430th
Top
1%
Largest Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionMost Patriotic: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 1st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 1st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 1st in the regionLargest Black Market: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 1st in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 2nd in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Governments: 2nd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2nd in the regionSmartest Citizens: 4th in the regionSafest: 4th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 4th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 5th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 6th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 7th in the regionMost Secular: 7th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 7th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 10th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 11th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 12th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 12th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 16th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 17th in the regionTop
5%
Largest Gambling Industry: 21st in the regionRudest Citizens: 23rd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 25th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 76th in the regionLargest Populations: 79th in the regionMost Conservative: 84th in the regionTop
10%
Most Authoritarian: 106th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 170th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, creating cardboard imitations of missiles is a new top-secret military project.
  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, advertisements for jobs in the sciences run in fashion magazines.
  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, the big red machine has ground to a halt.
  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, the police think a properly conducted criminal investigation is a real pain.
  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, fashion magazine covers finally display realistic body images following photo-manipulation becoming illegal.
  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, the government has become increasingly militant.
  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, it is said that a Tzulandian woman's work is never done.
  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, the armed forces are locked in an expensive and bloody war abroad to stamp out possible terrorists.
  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, political activists are routinely executed.
  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, dynamite sales and concert audiences are booming.

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