by Max Barry

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Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 2ndLowest Crime Rates: 2ndHighest Average Incomes: 3rd
The Military Dictatorship of
Iron Fist Consumerists
Ignorance is Bliss
Influence
Envoy
Region
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Tzuland

Population19.702 billion

CapitalFort Tzuland
LeaderGeneral Tzu
FaithTzuism

CurrencyGold
AnimalGolden Pig

The Military Dictatorship of Tzuland is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by General Tzu with an iron fist, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, public floggings, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 19.702 billion Tzulandians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Fort Tzuland. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Tzulandian economy, worth an astonishing 22,871 trillion Golds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Retail. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 1,160,895 Golds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.8 times as much as the poorest.

No-one can foil the ambitions of Big Aluminium, the Ministry of Truthiness now manages the entire media industry, strange lights seen in the sky are officially regarded as weather balloons or hoaxes and nothing else, and squeaky high prepubescent voices recite the patriotic poem "Hail to The Leader!" before each meal. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tzuland's national animal is the Golden Pig, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Tzuism.

Tzuland is ranked 230,796th in the world and 186th in Yggdrasil for Most Primitive, scoring -2095.99 on the Scary Big Number Scale.

Top
1%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 2ndLowest Crime Rates: 2ndHighest Average Incomes: 3rdLargest Manufacturing Sector: 5thMost Scientifically Advanced: 8thHighest Poor Incomes: 9thLargest Governments: 11thLargest Black Market: 12thMost Patriotic: 14thMost Corrupt Governments: 16thMost Efficient Economies: 17thMost Subsidized Industry: 18thLargest Mining Sector: 20thLargest Information Technology Sector: 21stLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 22ndLargest Insurance Industry: 24thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 27thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 30thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 48thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 51stHighest Economic Output: 58thHighest Average Tax Rates: 90thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 122ndLargest Agricultural Sector: 200thMost Secular: 203rdSafest: 214thLargest Retail Industry: 226thSmartest Citizens: 260thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 392ndMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 437thMost Developed: 458thMost Advanced Public Education: 470thLongest Average Lifespans: 509thMost Advanced Public Transport: 565thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 587thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 631stMost Valuable International Artwork: 717thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1,094thLargest Gambling Industry: 1,103rdRudest Citizens: 1,205thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,468thMost Influential: 2,095thTop
5%
Most Popular Tourist Destinations: 4,411thLargest Populations: 8,158thMost Conservative: 10,204thTop
10%
Most Authoritarian: 13,592ndFattest Citizens: 15,262ndMost World Assembly Endorsements: 16,014th
Top
1%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 1st in the regionLargest Black Market: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 1st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 1st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Governments: 1st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 1st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 1st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1st in the regionTop
5%
Most Secular: 2nd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 2nd in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 2nd in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 2nd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 2nd in the regionMost Patriotic: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2nd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 3rd in the regionSafest: 3rd in the regionRudest Citizens: 5th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 5th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 5th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 6th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 6th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 6th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 6th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 8th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 8th in the regionMost Developed: 8th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 8th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 9th in the regionTop
10%
Most Conservative: 10th in the regionMost Influential: 10th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, squeaky high prepubescent voices recite the patriotic poem "Hail to The Leader!" before each meal.
  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, strange lights seen in the sky are officially regarded as weather balloons or hoaxes and nothing else.
  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, the Ministry of Truthiness now manages the entire media industry.
  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, no-one can foil the ambitions of Big Aluminium.
  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, the path to inner peace is paved with state-mandated punishment.
  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, daisy chain gangs plant flowers and pick up litter.
  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, high-tech infantry rifles automatically reload when the soldier shoots outside the screen of their helmet HUD.
  • : Tzuland was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Conservative.
  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, kids are arrested at gunpoint for playing with toy rifles.
  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, search and rescue forces now accept cheques and all major credit cards.

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