The Military Dictatorship of Tzuland is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by General Tzu with an iron fist, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, public floggings, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 19.702 billion Tzulandians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Fort Tzuland. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Tzulandian economy, worth an astonishing 22,871 trillion Golds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Retail. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 1,160,895 Golds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.8 times as much as the poorest.

No-one can foil the ambitions of Big Aluminium, the Ministry of Truthiness now manages the entire media industry, strange lights seen in the sky are officially regarded as weather balloons or hoaxes and nothing else, and squeaky high prepubescent voices recite the patriotic poem "Hail to The Leader!" before each meal. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tzuland's national animal is the Golden Pig, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Tzuism.

Tzuland is ranked 230,796^th in the world and 186^th in Yggdrasil for Most Primitive, scoring -2095.99 on the Scary Big Number Scale.