The Military Dictatorship of Tzuland is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by General Tzu with an iron fist, and renowned for its avowedly heterosexual populace, public floggings, and smutty television. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 21.673 billion Tzulandians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Fort Tzuland. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Tzulandian economy, worth an astonishing 26,072 trillion Golds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 1,203,002 Golds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

The police think a properly conducted criminal investigation is a real pain, the big red machine has ground to a halt, advertisements for jobs in the sciences run in fashion magazines, and creating cardboard imitations of missiles is a new top-secret military project. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tzuland's national animal is the Golden Pig, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Tzuism.

Tzuland is ranked 219^th in the world and 4^th in 10000 Islands for Smartest Citizens, with 359.2 quips per hour.